GPC 2 quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

[at the sight of a building labeled "Oasis"] Anyway, here's "Wonderwall."

Wow, anybody else nauseous right now?

Why does the food go right into his stomach?

Servo

Oh, you're wondering how he eats, aren't you. Don't do that.

Joel

Hey, it's Donald Trump. He's chasing the good guys away. That doesn't make sense.

Servo

It makes perfect sense.

Hey, that joke has transcended time.

And space.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's the Fracties! The night where fractions come out to shine.

It's my honor to read the name of the student whom you have chosen as your next student body president. [is given an envelope] Envelope please, thank you. [gives it to the woman next to him]

I can't read.

And the winner is...

La La Land! Oh, not again...

Gage Dobson!

This is Gage Dobson's first win after being nominated for such daydreams as What If I Were a Robot With a Sword For an Arm? and Naked Book Report II.

Okay, and cue the bucket of pigs blood.

I'mma let you finish...

[pouring out a thick liquid onto the ground] Beyond the barrier of heaven and earth, let it go free into a closed dwelling. May it cause it to enter.

The world has never seen such evil caramel.

Primum materialis...

Lorem ipsum!

Release this blood of the earth. May it find its place with the philosopher's stone.

Exactly what is this mask?

[under duress] The mask is to blame. You're just not aware of its power.

It's toxic mask-ulinity.

So, now I'm totally confused about Christmas.

Yeah, does this mean Rudolph can breathe fire?

Servo

And how does the magic crystal figure into the nativity story? Ugh, whoever interpreted the Dead Sea Scrolls really dropped the ball on this one.

Welcome to clown alley...

Give me your wallet!

This is where I get ready for the big show.

That's what I call your nightmares. The big show.