Sharona Fleming quotes from Monk

Sharona Fleming

I think you enjoy shooting and stabbing me.

Adrian Monk

No, I don't enjoy it. But it's my job.

Adrian Monk

Oh, my God. I think I know what happened here. Sharona, you're not going to like this. Just-just try to keep an open mind, hear me out...

Sharona Fleming

[sadly] He did it, didn't he?

And--and it was raining.

Sharona Fleming

Are you sure? It wasn't raining all last week.

Listen, missy. I think I know what rain feels like. And that's what I felt when they carried me from the van into the house.

Lt. Randall Disher

Okay, cool. It'll be the three of us. We can do good cop, bad cop, worse cop.

Captain Stottlemeyer

Randy, it's a two-man job. Just wait here.

Lt. Randall Disher

Okay. I'll just wait here and--

Sharona Fleming

Weep openly.

Lt. Randall Disher

--do some paperwork.

Sharona Fleming

While you weep openly.

Sharona

Adrian, he doesn't want any gravy!

Monk

Let the man speak for himself.

I don't want any gravy!

Adrian Monk

Oh my God!

Sharona Fleming

[sees through the disguise] What are you supposed to be?

Lt. Randall Disher

I'm undercover. I'm homeless.

Sharona Fleming

What's that on your face?

Lt. Randall Disher

Dirt.

Sharona Fleming

[to Monk] Give the lady some gravy. [Monk does so]

Sharona Fleming

Have you been drinking?

Lt. Randall Disher

Yes, I have. I couldn't think of any other way to get all this Scotch into my body.

Sharona Fleming

Adrian, you have to sit. This is a picnic.

Adrian Monk

I - I don't sit on the ground. Animals do things on the ground - terrible, terrible things.

Sharona Fleming

We're never going to get away with this! They're never going to believe we're really married.

Adrian Monk

We have nothing in common. I annoy you all the time. Why wouldn't they believe it?

Adrian Monk

I can't sleep with a crooked shelf in the room.

Sharona Fleming

Well, when you turn the light off you won't see it.

Adrian Monk

I wish you could hear yourself sometimes! You live in a dream world.

I want to make you an offer...

Sharona Fleming

Oh please, drop dead!

Well, you'd think I would have by now, wouldn't you? [laughs]

Sharona

Sir, sir! You've got to stop that train, he's all alone-!

All right, ma'am, just calm down. It happens all the time. [lifts his radio] What's his name?

Sharona

Adrian Monk.

And how old is he?

Sharona

He's forty-five.

Monk

You... it was you. You filthy, disgusting animal! YOU MAKE ME SICK!

Me?

Sharona

What are you doing? He's a busboy!

Monk

Sharona, don't you recognize him? From the subway! He's the Urinator! Urinator! It was you! Don't try to deny it-

Stottlemeyer

Monk...

Monk

We saw what you did-!

Stottlemeyer

Monk! Could we get back to the quadruple homicide, please?

Sharona Fleming

That man took a whizz in the subway. That man [gestures to Steven Leight] killed four people in cold blood. Now who do you think we should arrest? [Monk thinks it over]

Adrian Monk

[hesitantly] The murderer.

Sharona Fleming

Now Benjy, you're grounded! That means no TV, and no Playstation!

Mom!

Adrian Monk

Sharona, he was just sticking up for a friend.

Sharona Fleming

Adrian, you stay out of this! You're not his father!

Adrian Monk

That's true, but I care about him as much as any father.

OW!