[In Dr. Bell's waiting room]
I can't believe you bought a house without telling me!
Let's see what Dr. Bell has to say.
Why should I care what this clown thinks?
He's a therapist! He's supposed to be brilliant. He's written five books and he teaches at Stanford.
[Glances at the analogue clock, which reads 10:59 AM] One minute now. If he's late, we're leaving.
[Spotting the doctor's certificate on the wall] Oh, look! His first name is Neven: N-E-V-E-N! It's a palindrome! That's a good sign!
It's not a perfect palindrome. The first N is capitalized.
Dr. Kroger's name was Charles. That wasn't a palindrome.
[At the exact moment that the second hand reaches the top and the analogue clock says 11:00, Dr. Bell comes out of the office]
Dr. Neven BellMr. Monk. [Shakes hands with Monk] Neven Bell. I've been looking forward to this. [After releasing Monk's hand, Dr. Bell produces a wipe from a package of Wet Ones] Wipe. [Monk turns to Natalie, who gives a thumbs up. Cuts to Monk sitting in Dr. Bell's office]
...
Dr. Neven Bell
Why haven't you been sleeping?
Heh, no big mystery. There's this girl across the street who plays the same song. [Imitates a section of Prelude in A Major] It doesn't matter, I'm out of there; I just bought a house.
Dr. Neven Bell
Well congratulations. So when did it start, the piano playing?
I don't know. About a year ago.
Dr. Neven Bell
Hmm, but it's only been bothering you for what, five weeks?
Dr. Neven Bell
Well the girl's been practicing for over a year, and it's only been bothering you since Charles Kroger passed.
No. No. No. No. No. [He continues saying "no" as Dr. Bell speaks]
Dr. Neven Bell
The music she's playing is Chopin. Charles loved Chopin; he played in his waiting room all the time. Maybe the music is reminding you of-of your friend, and it's been affecting you.
[Monk confides to Dr. Bell that Natalie's position as a lottery hostess is interfering with her other position as his assistant]
Dr. Neven Bell
Natalie's your friend. Maybe you're afraid she doesn't need you any more, maybe you're afraid you're going to lose her.
Or maybe I just feel insulted!
Dr. Neven Bell
Insulted?
What I do is hard! I am out there, I am sweating out every clue! I am putting killers behind bars! What does she do? What does she do?! [He grabs a calendar off the desk with the date "July 16" on it] "91! Number 91! 91! Number 91! 91! Number 9- I mean, how hard is that? You know, a talking monkey could do her job! It's embarrassing.
Dr. Neven Bell
Actually that's a 16. See, you're holding it upside down.
[Glances at it] Oh, it's confusing. There's usually a little line under the 9.
Dr. Neven Bell
But I see your point about the monkey.
All I'm trying to say is... it's not the same Natalie! If you knew her you wouldn't know her! Last night after the show, she got somebody fired!
Dr. Neven Bell
Really?
One of the crew, sound guy! There were some wires on the floor, and she was just like... [mimics Raptor-like snarling] ...you know, complaining.
[Monk is in session with Dr. Bell]
All I ever wanted was a real family. I used to pray for one.
Dr. Neven Bell
I hate to break the news to you, Adrian, but you already have a real family. In many ways, your situation is typical; I've seen it quite often. [Monk raises his eyebrows]
There's a four state dragnet on my brother. Do you get that a lot?
Dr. Neven Bell
With what?
With Marge, what do you suppose she's after?
Dr. Neven Bell
Uh, Adrian—
Every time somebody wants to be my friend, it turns out they're after something. They have an angle!
Dr. Neven Bell
Not necessarily.
How could somebody - how could anybody - love me unconditionally? I mean, come on, you met me!
Dr. Neven Bell
Adrian, I know you've been burned in the past, but you have to trust people. See, there's not always a catch.
Then how do you explain this? There's always a catch.
Roderick Brody changed my life, maybe as much as Trudy did. He ruined everything. It was childhood's end, really.
Dr. Neven Bell
You know, I had a bully in school too. He would wait for me every morning outside the bicycle rack-
Excuse me, sorry to interrupt. You went to your father for advice, and he told you to face up to the bully, and the bully backed down?
Dr. Neven Bell
Yes, more or less. Yes.
What a wonderful anecdote. It will give me something to think about at one o'clock, when my head is in the man's toilet.
Dr. Neven Bell
Why don't you just cancel it? Just say you're busy.
Natalie won't let me! It's the first paying customer we've had in three weeks! Look, what I need is a note.
Dr. Neven Bell
A note?
Yes, a note from you, something I can show Natalie, to get me out of this!
Dr. Neven Bell
Adrian, I'm not gonna write you a note!
You don't have to write it. [Pulls it out of his jacket] It's already written. All you have to do is sign it.
Dr. Neven Bell
Adrian, this isn't gym class! Now you've been talking about this Roderick Brody since the first session. And as I recall, you're still having nightmares about him. You know, I think this meeting today is a gift. It's an opportunity.
Maybe you're right. But sign the note!
Dr. Neven Bell
It's an opportunity to confront your greatest and most troubling fears, to finally resolve them! Put them all behind you! Not many people get this chance!
I see your point. I never looked at it like that. Can I have the note back?
Dr. Neven Bell
Sure. [He starts to hand the note back, but stops midway, wearily] Wait. You're not planning to forge my signature, are you?
[Laughs] No! [He lunges for the note]
Monk · 667 quotes
