Dr. Charles Kroger quotes from Monk

I wanna make sure I understand this. I have a problem... you know the answer...

Dr. Charles Kroger

That's right.

I'm paying you...

Dr. Charles Kroger

That's right.

...but you won't tell me.

Dr. Charles Kroger

That's right. Adrian, the answer is inside you.

No, doctor, the... answer is inside you. If you told me, I would hear it, and then the answer would be inside me!

S2 E4 Mr. Monk Goes to the Circus

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[Monk refuses to reveal his intimacies with his late wife to his psychiatrist.]

Dr. Kroger

Adrian, we can talk about your sex life with Trudy or we can sing show tunes until this session is over. It's your choice.

[pause]

[singing] If ever would I leave you...

...

[Eventually, Monk stops singing. He looks at his watch and stares at Dr. Kroger for a while, then...]

[singing] If ever would I leave you...

S2 E10 Mr. Monk and the Paperboy

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[Dr. Kroger is at Monk's apartment because Sharona left Darwin loose with Monk.]

Dr. Charles Kroger

I can see your space has been violated, and I think you're handling it very well. I'm proud of you. How do you feel?

[high-pitched voice] I'm fine. These things happen, what can you do?

Dr. Charles Kroger

Exactly, exactly. These are all just material objects. You can always replace anything that he breaks, or chews, or... [sees] pees on.

Chews or pees on... Chews or pees on...

S3 E2 Mr. Monk and the Panic Room

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[Sharona thinks she is losing her sanity like her father, and believes it's due to the stress of taking care of Monk. She is at Dr. Kroger's office.]

Sharona

I swear to God, if I have a breakdown, I'll never forgive him.

Dr. Kroger

Your father?

Sharona

Adrian.

S3 E6 Mr. Monk and the Girl Who Cried Wolf

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Dr. Charles Kroger

Your new assistant is out there, somewhere.

[Monk ponders this for a while.]

God help her.

S3 E10 Mr. Monk and the Red Herring

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[Monk is in session with Dr. Kroger]

Dr. Charles Kroger

Didn't she sell her house?

Yes.

Dr. Charles Kroger

And she moved back to New Jersey?

Yes.

Dr. Charles Kroger

And she remarried her ex-husband?

I'm not sure I like where you're going here.

S3 E10 Mr. Monk and the Red Herring

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[Monk is in shock when faced with evidence that his wife Trudy faked her own death.]

Dr. Charles Kroger

Adrian, I'm not going to believe anything until I hear it from you. Is Trudy alive?

I don't know. But if it's true, then nothing is true. If this is true, nothing is true.

S4 E6 Mr. Monk and Mrs. Monk

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Dr. Charles

Adrian, I just don't know what to say. I'm speechless, and I'm very very proud of you.

No big deal.

Dr. Charles

No-no-no. I'm very, very proud of you. And it is a big deal.

It's just one weekend. I'll be gone for two nights.

Dr. Charles

Two nights alone in a hotel?

I might even leave my room.

Dr. Charles

Yes.

Would you like to come along? I'll treat.

Dr. Charles

No. No, I mean it's your vacation.

My treat.

Dr. Charles

But it's your breakthrough. And I think it's the first time since you lost Trudy that you're actually looking forward to something.

I am. I'm looking forward.

Dr. Charles

You know, there is a term for this, Adrian. It's called affirmative reflex. And it's a very, very big step. Okay, it's 3:00. I'll see you next--

Okay, I'll see you on Wednesday.

Dr. Charles

Whoa, wait-wait-wait. You know, I was thinking maybe we should eliminate Wednesday. And you can come on Monday and Friday.

Two days a week?

Dr. Charles

Yeah, how would you feel about that?

I don't know what to say. That's only twice as much as a normal person. How many times has Harold Crenshaw come?

Dr. Charles

Adrian, you know I can't talk about another patient.

I'll bet he comes three times a week. Loser.

Dr. Charles

Adrian, it's not a contest. The important thing is that you're making real tangible progress. And I couldn't be happier. You know, you've been stuck at square one for a long time.

I hate square one.

Dr. Charles

Well then let me be the first to say, welcome to square two.

How many squares are there?

Dr. Charles

We'll just take it one step at a time.

What square is Harold on?

Dr. Charles

Doesn't matter.

I understand. He's still on square one, isn't he? Blink twice if I'm right.

...

Tangible progress, can you believe it? That's what he said. Tangible progress. Those were his words.

HHarold

Good for you.

He said that I was on square two.

HHarold

That's a good place to be.

What square are you on?

HHarold

Oh, I don't know, Mr. Monk. I never really thought about it.

Well, I'd say... you were on square... four or five.

HHarold

That sounds about right. But you're catching up. Oh, I'm so proud of you. Are you proud of yourself?

Proud of myself? No, no. That's square-five talk.

S5 Mr. Monk and the Actor

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Dr. Kroger

And they canceled the movie [about you]?

He said he wanted to play a character who wasn’t so dark and depressing. [Pause] He's in England playing Hamlet.

S5 Mr. Monk and the Actor

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Dr. Charles

That must have been a traumatic experience for you Adrian. And they cancelled the movie?

He said he wanted to play a character who wasn't so dark and depressing. He's in England doing Hamlet.

Dr. Charles

How about the little getaway you were planning? The weekend away?

[Adrian shakes his head]

Dr. Charles

All right, okay, maybe another time.

I guess I'm back to square one. [He groans] It's good to be home.

Dr. Charles

Adrian, please don't be hard on yourself. I think we should go back to three days a week for just a little while. That would be Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

And Tuesday.

Dr. Charles

Tuesday would be four days a week...

[Adrian give Charles a beleaguered look]

Dr. Charles

Okay, I could see that just until you're back on your feet...

And Thursday.

Dr. Charles

Oh no, Thursday is five days a week, Adrian.

[Adrian buries his head in his hands and moans]

Dr. Charles

Okay, that way five days a week would be easier to remember...

And Saturday.

Dr. Charles

Well, Saturday is the weekend and I don't like to see patients on the weekends.

Saturday!

Dr. Charles

Adrian, I have a family and I like to keep the weekend free...

[Desperately] Saturday!

Dr. Charles

Okay, we'll try that for a weekend or two. So that would be Monday, Tuesday...

And Sunday.

S5 Mr. Monk and the Actor

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[Monk is trying to have a session with Dr. Kroger, but garbage bags are being thrown into the courtyard]

It keeps piling up. I always hated garbage. Even when I was a kid. We live 2.2 miles from the city dump. I used to lie in bed. Smelling it. Had nightmares all the time. About trash. Piling up outside, higher and higher...until we couldn't leave the house. [Chokes] We were buried alive. [A bag is tossed] And now it's coming true. [Dr. Kroger does not reply] Dr. Kroger? [After a pause]

Dr. Charles Kroger

Adrian, have you been sending me your trash?

[Laughs in disbelief] No.

Dr. Charles Kroger

See...I've been getting boxes of trash, sent to me in the mail.

S5 Mr. Monk and the Garbage Strike

Really?

Dr. Charles Kroger

Yeah, really. Now, Adrian, don't try to deny it. It's all sorted by color and food groups. It’s your handwriting on the label. It’s upsetting my wife, it’s upsetting my children, and I want it to stop!

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Dr. Charles Kroger

Adrian, I cannot continue to practice anymore after today. The police think that one of my patients killed Teresa Mueller. I should have seen it coming. I didn't; I missed it. This is all my fault.

This isn't happening. This can't be happening.

Dr. Kroger

Adrian, I promise you I'll get you another doctor. I'll call you next week.

Okay! So it's not true! You're not retiring! I mean, you can't because... He can't retire...

Dr. Kroger

[To Natalie] This is step one in the grieving process: denial. [Monk comes back to Dr. Kroger]

Damn you, Charles! Damn you to hell! I hate you. I hate you! You are dead to me.

That's not denial.

Dr. Kroger

No, that's step two, that's anger.

Okay. Okay, we're all adults here. We can work this out. I can hire you full time, all right? Put you on payroll.

Dr. Kroger

This is step three, the bargaining. It usually doesn't go around this quickly.

Why me? Why is it always me? Everybody's always leaving me.

Depression?

Dr. Kroger

Yeah, step four.

This can't go on. I mean, it's just too much. Okay, you're right. It's not the end of the world. I'll just have to find another doctor. I owe you so much. Thanks to you, I think I can get past this. Thanks, doc.

Dr. Kroger

And finally, step five, acceptance.

Thank God that's over. [Monk walks over to another police officer]

He can't retire! The man can't quit because he's not a quitter.

Wait, what's going on?

Dr. Kroger

I don't know. It's like he's starting all over again, like he's in a loop. [Monk peeps through the window blinds]

I HATE YOU FOR THIS, KROGER! YOU ARE DEAD TO ME! You understand me? DEAD!

Dr. Kroger

I really should be heading home...

S5 Mr. Monk Gets a New Shrink

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[Monk is in session with Dr. Kroger; he hands Dr. Kroger a handout]

Dr. Charles Kroger

“Police Announce Hiring Freeze”.

A hiring freeze, for the next four years! By then, I’ll be too old to be reinstated! So, that’s it: I’ll never be a cop again!

Dr. Charles Kroger

All right, Adrian. I am truly sorry. I know how much reinstatement means to you.

Only everything! It was my reason for living. That’s all. What do I do now?

Dr. Charles Kroger

I think you go back to what you’ve been doing. Consulting.

For how long? I haven’t had a new client in weeks! The department hasn’t renewed my contract!

Dr. Charles Kroger

You know, Adrian, I think this is an opportunity for you to make a decision. A very important decision. Now, you can let this news completely depress you.

Okay. Thank you.

Dr. Charles Kroger

Or, you can look at this like an opportunity. A chance for you to reassess your life. Start over. Do something completely different.

Different?

Dr. Charles Kroger

Yeah...'different' can be good.

[Unconvinced] Different. Good... [whispers to self] Different? Good? [Pause]

Dr. Charles Kroger

Adrian, it's not too late, you know Winston Churchill did not become prime minister until he was sixty!

What are you talking about? I'll never become prime minister!

Dr. Charles Kroger

No, no. I'm not saying--

I don't even live in England; even if I did I, I'd be such a long shot-

Dr. Charles Kroger

Adrian! It’s just an example.

S5 Mr. Monk Is At Your Service

What do I do now?

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Dr. Charles Kroger

So, before Trudy, what was Christmas like for you?

Bleak... depressing... the pain was unrelenting, thank you for asking.

Dr. Charles Kroger

Adrian, they can't all have been that bad.

Pick a year.

Dr. Charles Kroger

Uh... 1964.

1964, good choice. 1964... Mom was sick. Dad was... Dad was Dad. Ambrose locked himself in the basement, he's no fool. That Christmas I got one present - a walkie talkie.

Dr. Charles Kroger

[Being positive] Well, those can be fun. I had a pair of walkie talkies once...