M*A*S*H · Season 6
Who does he think he is, The Merchant of Korea?
Stop crying, it's just a pound of flesh.
A pound of flesh, my butt.
Wherever.
What do you think the sentence is for firing an officer out of a Howitzer?
190 years, if you're a first offender.
Whose bright idea was this, anyhow?
Ask the five-card stud.
Look at him! He doesn't sweat. I ain't seen someone who doesn't sweat before.
Sure you have, in the Reptile House.
I think I'm gonna fold, while I still have a little left for the orphans.
Oh, Father, give them my, (starts to hand Mulcahy a blue poker chip, but switches to a red) give them my best.
(pauses) Well, good night everyone.
Good night, Mr. Chip.
Charles (after his French horn is run over): Colonel, what about my horn?
By all means, Winchester. Bring it along, we'd love to hear it.
And from here in Ouijongbou, the sadistic sounds of Doc Winchester and his all-moose orchestra, who ask the musical question, why us!?
How's the clamp working, son?
Like a lioness holding her cub.
Well, official channels could take forever. I remember when I applied for permission to get married. By the time the papers came through, my son was divorced.
We have an old saying in America: Get out.
Klinger (after he rips his skirt): That was an original. Now they'll make copies and you'll see it all over Korea!
Charles (trying to find a place to sleep in Potter's tent): I demand a space for my cot.
Hawkeye (picks up a small box): Hello, room service, send up a larger room.
Charles (while trying to sleep on his cot in Margaret's tent): Margaret, we are both adults.
Yes, of the opposite sex!
No, they got something better...me.
Huh?
Take me instead of him, I've got your escape plan.
I got my own plan...chopper to Seoul, plane back to Ohio.
I'm from Toledo, I know people there, I can make it easy for you.
Take him, he's got a plan, I would be lost in Ohio. Take him, please, please? I've never even been to Ohio, he was born and raised there! He's--
Okay, okay get out of here, anything's better than you!
I think the marines are the only ones with an art history division.
When I leave the army, it'll be the honorable way...with a section 8!
Colonel! Colonel, it's Klinger, he's back!
Thank God he's back alive, I'm gonna kill him!
BJ (while exiting the Swamp): After you.
As it should be.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's M*A*S*H pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
