I would operate in Braille if my fingers weren't frozen.
Hawkeye (imitating Charles' accent): Sorry Charles, we're all out of fur-lined rubber gloves.
S6The Light That Failed
(gleefully, after BJ has ripped chapter 1 out of his book and given to Hawk to read) Heehee! Reading! This just might be better than sex!
Certainly takes longer around here.
BBJ
How would you know?
S6In Love and War
Je suis poulet a la poetry.
(Kyong Soon starts laughing)
What?
KSKyong Soon
What did you mean to say?
That I'm pulled toward poetry. What did I say?
Kyong Soon (still laughing): You said you were a chicken!
What does Kyong Soon mean?
KSKyong Soon
It means bright and obedient. But my father used to tease me. I'm not very obedient.
S6Change Day
SMSergeant Maxwell
If there's ever anything I can do for you, let me know.
How about arresting this war for disturbing the peace?
Potter (seeing Klinger in a Class A uniform): Klinger, you're out of uniform!
S6The M*A*S*H Olympics
You're gonna eat your way to a discharge.
I call it "food for freedom".
I call it "suicide by salami".
BBJ
You? An athletic scholarship!?
That's right, the coach's daughter paid me to leave her alone.
S6The Grim Reaper
Do you happen to have a quarter?
All this for a quarter?
I have to pry off the cover.
BBJ
'Course, cover charge.
Look out teeth, look out gums, look out liver, here she comes!
Civilization in Korea.
You interrupted a Zane Grey gunfight because of a schoolyard spat over a jacket?
That jacket is rightfully mine.
Major get your mind off collecting fees. This is the army not park avenue.
This is Hell's Kitchen.
Potter (pointing to boots): See those boots? Picture them kicking you across the compound.
BBJ
Mind if I enter?
Sure. You know my hours, 11pm to reville.
Well purjury must have its day in court.
Approach the bench.
S6Comrades in Arms (Part 1)
Do you two realize that you are singing two entirely different operas and they're both out of tune?
Don't blame me, I didn't write this stuff.
BBJ
Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
What don't you do?
BBJ
I'll think of something.
S6Comrades in Arms (Part 2)
Continental breakfast.
Continent of Atlantis.
Huh?
That's the one that sank.
Hawkeye (talking to Margaret about what to tell Donald about their brief affair): What do you usually tell him?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's M*A*S*H pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.