Frank Marion Burns quotes from M*A*S*H

Frank

I'm only paranoid because everyone's against me!

Frank

[to Klinger] The next time I see you, I wanna see a shine on those high heels!

Frank

When are you gonna learn about Chinese treachery? Didn't Pearl Harbor teach you anything?

Frank

I don't care what Captain McIntyre said, I have never cared, and at this point I don't care twice as much as I never cared before!

Frank

Anyone who needs psychiatry is sick in the head.

Frank

Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce.

Frank

Hello? Louise, it's me, Frank.

Frank

Courage is just something you can't be afraid to have.

Frank

The way I see it, unless we each conform, unless we obey orders, unless we follow our leaders blindly, there is no possible way we can remain free.

Frank

I'm fine, Mom. Well actually, I'm not. You see, I had this friend. And this friend only pretended to like me. You know, the way Dad used to?

Frank

Any mindless baboon can see she's not here, including me!

Frank

I happen to believe in the sanctity of marriage no matter how ugly or disgusting it gets. I'd kill her before I'd divorce her!

Burns

I hope you catch that ugly creep who's been using my face!

Frank

Bye, Margaret.

Frank

Lemmings must be directed to the sea.