TV show quotes
What does everybody want here? What do these people want more than anything else?
To go home or to Tokyo, whichever comes first.
What do they really want?
Sex!
Ah!
Except for those baseball perverts.
You want to raffle off a nurse?
Is that what I said?
[spotting Hawkeye browsing through his personal shelf] What are you doing up there?
I just wanted to borrow your Bible, Frank.
Since when are you two interested in the Bible?
I peeked at the end, Frank. The Devil did it.
[simultaneously] Radar O' Reilly/ Henry Blake: Yes Sir?/ Radar
Don't do that!
Yes sir, you wanted to see me sir?
Yes, but let me say I want to see you before I see you.
Yes sir, you wanted to see these? [pushing sheaf of papers to Henry]
How do you know that?
That's why you called me.
Oh yeah.
[reaching for different papers] You wanted me to take these sir?
[absently] Yeah.
[describing Lt. Dish] a girl with a face that doesn't quit. A girl with so much body she should be continued on the next girl.
Hawkeye I'm trying to be faithful. How many times must I tell you I'm engaged?
I'm engaged too, think of me as a dress rehearsal.
A girl can only take so much.
Are we anywhere near that part yet?
[Margaret and Frank are watching Hawkeye and Maggie Dish through binoculars]
Sickening!
Animals!
Your conduct in there was not only unbecoming an officer, it was equally reprehensible as a medical man!
Frank, I happen to be an officer only because I foolishly opened an invitation from President Truman to come to this costume party. And as for my ability as a doctor, if you seriously question that, I'm just gonna have to challenge you to a duel.
Swords or pistols?
I was thinking specimen bottles at twenty paces.
[watching Henry Blake leave the 4077th by helicopter]
What's this?
Weekend passes for the raffle.
When did he sign these?
When he thought he was ordering a ton of ice cream. Fudge ripple
You still haven't told me how I get out of going away with the winner. Why do I have the funny feeling it's going to be you.
You don't trust me?
Not since the last time I found you hiding in my sleeping bag.
Lemmings must be directed to the sea.
Hawkeye (to Trapper, walking into Mess Tent): Would you mind sucking in your shoulders?
Pardon my build.
The instrument has yet to be devised that can test my indifference to that remark.
Sergeant (showing Hawkeye, BJ and Radar his tattoo): The Marine emblem, Semper Fidelis.
Latin for "always faithful".
Well, I'd want to meet the girl first.
Radar (about his tattoo): It'll come off when I take a bath.
My God, it is permanent.
(Klinger has just brought Charles a bottle of Napoleon brandy)
Ah...Napoleon. If you'd given more of this to Josephine...she might have stayed home nights.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's M*A*S*H pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
