He's just using you and what's worse is you're falling for it!
ReeseYou heard her.
Reese
What?
Reese
I know what her name is and I am not going to dignify that with a response. And her name is...
[He fails to call out Cynthia's name and touches her breasts. Enraged she punches Reese in the face and he falls to the floor]
[beating Reese to a pulp] HOW CAN YOU BE SO CREEPY?! DON'T YOU EVEN HAVE THE REMOTEST SENSE OF DECENCY TOWARDS A FELLOW HUMAN BEING?! I HAVE FEELINGS! I WILL BE TREATED WITH RESPECT!
[Malcolm salutes jauntily and walks out of the room as Cynthia continues kicking Reese.]
[offscreen] I WILL NOT BE OBJECTIFIED!!!! I WILL NOT BE HUMILIATED OR DEMEANED!! NOW KISS MY SHOE! KISS MY SHOE!!!
Boys, would you leave the room a minute so your father and I can talk?
I'm not leaving. You guys just chase us out whenever you want without even asking us. I'm getting tired of it! Watching TV is the only thing to do in this house that's actually fun. So you're left with two choices: you can either fight somewhere else, or get us a TV for our room.
[Later in the boys' bedroom, all three are stood in the corners, facing the wall]
There's no reasoning with that woman!
Reese
I thought you made some good points.
It doesn't matter, she doesn't listen anyway. It's like talking to a wall.
Reese
[giggles] Hey, that's what we're doing!
[After the family learns Francis has gotten married to a girl named Piama]
Why can't you just be happy for us!?
We're supposed to be happy, when you repay us like this after all we've done for you!?
I'M CONFUSED! ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE YEARS OF PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE, OR SHIPPING ME OFF TO MILITARY SCHOOL!?
[In the boys' room, while Francis and Lois are having a heated argument outside...]
Reese
This family sucks. They don't care anything about us. They don't even listen to us. Let's out of here.
Reese
No, I mean let's really get out of here and get away from these people.
Reese
[pulls out Hal's credit card from his pocket] Wherever this takes us. I snagged it out of dad's wallet this morning.
You knew we were gonna need it tonight?
Reese
Uh... yeah.
[After the family discovered the boys' at the hotel after running away from home...]
Okay, boys, get your things. We're going home.
Reese
No! We're not going back there.
Okay, Well, you can't stay in this hotel room forever. What are you gonna do, live under a bridge and steal food out of dumpsters?
I don't know, but we're not going home! We've had it with the way you treat us, and we've hat it with all the yelling!
Reese
You are a terrible influence on us!
All you ever do is scream!
There's something wrong with this family! Families should have some way of communicating besides yelling!
Okay, everybody, calm down. I understand what you're saying, I'm not gonna yell, I'm not going to scream. We are capable of talking about this without raising our voices. Now, boys, I want you to understand I'm sorry about what happened. But you have to understand I get a little emotional when I learned that my oldest son was acting like an idiot and throwing his life away. Now that doesn't mean-- [gets splashed with water. It's revealed that Francis' wife, Piama threw water at her.]
Stop talking about him like that! Francis is my heart!
[Ed has just learned about Reese reading his undeleted emails from his affair with the other women.]
EEd
Oh my god, how much do you know?
Reese
Everything. You might want to formulate your megabytes next time you get rid of your computer. Oh, and by the way, Mrs. Swanbeck, You are sick!"
EEd
"Keep your voice down."
[Lois comes in the kitchen and catches Dewey eating a meal meant for her and Hal, covering for his dog Marshmallow. Later on Hal is home confronting him]
I don't understand it! An entire roast, with your bare hands?! The–the–the–the salad, the potatoes, the–the green beans?! What do you have to say for yourself?
Reese
This is great. Let's tell them about the dog and really nail his coffin shut.
An entire stick of butter?!
Reese
Now, lets tell them now.
Wait a sec. How could you eat a candle?
[Takes candle stick from Hal's hand and eats it.] I like candles. i think they're good.
[Lois is disgusted with him.]
That's it, you are going to the hospital and getting your stomach pumped.
[In the sewers]
Reese
[feigning panic] Oh man! What are we gonna do?! [to Malcolm, smugly] Nice! We got him crying, the pansy!
Reese
[truly panicked] What?! What are we gonna do?!
I knew it! I knew you were gonna find some way to ruin this for me! Even when you're trying to be nice, you make me miserable! And now I get to die in the sewer! A perfect end to a crappy life!
Reese
All right, let's focus on finding a way out of here. Stevie's mom must be worried about him--
Shut up... about... my mom!
Reese
What? I simply made a comment.
Reese
I can't help it if have a healthy interest in the opposite sex.
Well... they don't... return... the favor!
Reese
What does that mean?
Reese
That's not true!
Yes, it is. Come on, Reese, you're a joke.
TTV
"...to break free of the atmosphere, a rocket must attain speeds of 25,000 miles per hour."
Reese
Bull! If they went that fast they'd be squashed in the back of their seats! They wouldn't float around!
You're confusing acceleration with velocity. You feel it at first, but once you're up to speed, you don't notice. Right now we're on a planet spinning at 1,000 miles per hour. We're also travelling around the sun at almost 67,000 miles per hour. The solar system is hurtling through the galaxy which is hurtling away from other galaxies cos the universe is expanding.
[Reese nervously clutches the arm of the sofa.]
Reese
STOP! I won't let you do this! I would rather die than be left alone with Mom!
Reese
NO! You can run me over, I don't care!
[Malcolm revs the car's engine, Reese screams and jumps aside.]
Reese
What do you want?
I just want you to know you're not getting last licks.
Reese
Huh?
I'm sick of you always having an edge just because you're an idiot and I'm smart and I'm concerned about consequences. I can be just as vicious and shortsighted as you.
Reese
Oh, yeah, I'm really scared. Why don't you just... [registers that his arm is glued to his forehead] Gaa! What'd you do?
I sunk to your level. And I have to say, it feels good.
[A furious Hal and Lois are forced to miss Dewey's play by having to pick up an injured Reese and Malcolm from the hospital. Malcolm has a black eye, his head bandaged up and a broken arm. Reese has the worst of the injuries being in a body cast, his neck in a brace, and has a hard time walking in it.]
I should've told the doctor to sew furs and tails on you boys because you're animals! Only animals are easier because then I can have you FIXED!
[Facing Malcolm and Reese] For all the good it does, you're grounded again!
Thanks a lot for getting me grounded on my birthday!
Reese
Oh boo hoo, I was grounded on my birthday!
I was just standing up for myself! There is such a thing as justice, you know?!
Reese
Well, there is such a thing as "Shut up"!
Stop it. Malcolm, do you remember what you did for your birthday last year?
Nothing. I was grounded then, too.
[to Reese] And what about your birthday?
Reese
You grounded me after I smashed Malcolm's face into the cake.
And your birthday before that?
Reese
[to Malcolm] Wait. When did you push me off the pony?
Malcolm in the Middle · 549 quotes
