Dabney quotes from Malcolm in the Middle

Caroline

Oh, come on. We've studied this. There is nothing dirty about the miracle of life. And we should all be able to discuss this openly.

Dabney

Who's the father?

Stevie

Does he... work here?

Caroline

All right, you know. I told you we are not playing this game again!!

Malcolm

Those guys are nuts. I'm funny!... Aren't I funny?

To be honest, you can be a little caustic.

Stevie

The word... is arrogant.

Dabney

How about bitter, sarcastic and handsome? (Lloyd and Stevie stare at him) (points somewhere) Hey, she's cute.

Hey, check out the newbie.

Stevie

Fresh... meat.

Dabney

[to Malcolm] You no longer have to live in fear.

Malcolm

What are you talking about?

Dabney

The hazing we put you through is over.

Malcolm

What hazing?

Oh, come on! When we gave you the warped lunchtray. When we dulled the points on your pencils. When you sneezed and no one said "Bless you."

Dabney

I still feel bad about that.

Stevie

What...a jerk!

Is that what we're going to turn out like? If I ever start acting like that, you have to promise to kill me!

Dabney

No! No more death pacts!

Dabney

I know you think I'm a mama's boy.

Malcolm

No, mama's boys are laughing at you... with their mothers.

You like the pavement so much? Kiss It!

Oh my God! Dabney, you get away from here this instant! Did you make eye contact with that big boy?! When you are bullied, you tuck and cower!

Dabney

I was cowering, he wouldn't let me tuck.