Piama Tananahaakna quotes from Malcolm in the Middle

Piama

Thanks for spending Christmas with my relatives.

Lois

Okay, boys, get your things. We're going home.

Reese

No! We're not going back there.

Dewey

Okay, Well, you can't stay in this hotel room forever. What are you gonna do, live under a bridge and steal food out of dumpsters?

Malcolm

I don't know, but we're not going home! We've had it with the way you treat us, and we've hat it with all the yelling!

Reese

You are a terrible influence on us!

Malcolm

All you ever do is scream!

Dewey

And order us around!

Malcolm

There's something wrong with this family! Families should have some way of communicating besides yelling!

Lois

Okay, everybody, calm down. I understand what you're saying, I'm not gonna yell, I'm not going to scream. We are capable of talking about this without raising our voices. Now, boys, I want you to understand I'm sorry about what happened. But you have to understand I get a little emotional when I learned that my oldest son was acting like an idiot and throwing his life away. Now that doesn't mean-- [gets splashed with water. It's revealed that Francis' wife, Piama threw water at her.]

Piama

Stop talking about him like that! Francis is my heart!

Reese

The Monkfish!! [searches drawer] Where are the oven mitts?

Piama

Do you want me to look?

Reese

No, keep stirring. No place mats, no tea towels. I need something.

Piama

I'll get a towel from the bathroom.

Reese

No, there's not enough time. It has to come out at exactly 5:38. Not 5:37, not 5:39.

Piama

Well, what are you gonna do?

Reese

There's only one thing I can do. [walks over to oven and opens it]

Piama

Reese, nooooo!!!

Reese

Yes! [grabs Monkfish with his bare hands, screams and pulls it out] Make me a space!!

Piama

Where?!?

Reese

Move the oven mitts! [Piama moves the oven mitts and Reese sets the Monkfish on the table and shakes his hands.]

Piama

Do men ever think about what's going to happen when they do these stupid things?

Lois

No, that's what's weird about men. They never do. I guarantee you, these two won't even think about the consequences of their actions until five minutes before they come home.

Piama

So, no matter how low I set the bar, he'll still find a way to crawl under it?

Lois

You still think there's a bar. That's so cute.

Piama

Lois, I really think he's gonna do it this time! You gotta stop him! [Francis storms in and seizes a poker from the fireplace]

Francis

There you are! I drove by eighty miles of blunt objects just to get to you! I HOPE YOU RUN!

Ida

You better make that first swing count, princess!

Lois

Hal...

Hal

Right. [Calming down Francis] Son. Don't feel bad. In some parallel universe you did it.