Cynthia quotes from Malcolm in the Middle

Cynthia

Looks like Lloyd and Dabney are having a pretty intense conversation. Did you know I could read lips? (imitates Lloyd) I've noticed that 80% of my Doritos are isosceles triangles. (imitates Dabney) Wow! I'm impressed. Wanna kiss? (Malcolm and Cynthia giggle, Cynthia imitates Lloyd) I was hoping you'd ask. Lemme take a bite of my sandwich first. (Lloyd takes a bite, Cynthia imitates Dabney) Waiting such sweet agony. (Malcolm & Cynthia laugh again; Cynthia imitates Lloyd) Okay, I'm ready. (imitates Dabney) Oh, no, I'm not. I just took a bite of my sandwich. (imitates Lloyd) Oh, you're such a tease.

Cynthia

Malcolm, if you do this, I will never have sex with you again.

Malcolm

Hi, I'm Malcolm.

Cynthia

Cynthia.

Malcolm

So, you're new here.

Cynthia

Yeah, my dad wanted to get away from Manhattan, but I think the real reason is that my mom's remarriage hit him pretty hard and he thinks that a new environment would help. The truth is nothing's been the same after my brother died in a boating accident.

Cynthia

Ha! Just kidding.

Malcolm

What?

Malcolm

Anyways, see you later, and I'm glad your brother's okay.

Cynthia

I don't have a brother.

Reese

Ooh, Malcolm. Having lunch with your girlfriend?

Malcolm

She's not my girlfriend.

Reese

I don't know. I think I see a spark. (bops Cynthia's nose) Boop!

Cynthia

Please don't do that.

Reese

Aw, she doesn't like to be touched. Well, maybe, I'll do this.

Cynthia

Now, say your body is composed entirely of snot.

Malcolm

I'm good.

Lois

What's wrong?

Malcolm

Some crazy new girl from school actually followed me home.

Lois

Really? Is she cute? Is this what this whole boxers shorts thing is all about. (approaches the door and looks through the peephole)

Malcolm

Mom, please don't.

Cynthia

Hi!

Cynthia

Thanks for inviting me to dinner.

Lois

Your quite welcome. I'm sure if my son wasn't a rude selfish little pig, he would have invited you himself.

Cynthia

Hey, Malcolm.

Malcolm

I want to sit alone. (Cynthia sits down next to him) Yeah, hi.

Cynthia

So, I signed us up as lab partners.

Malcolm

You know, you're always near me. Wouldn't it be okay if you branched out a little?

Cynthia

I thought it seemed so cool that we have a thing together.

Malcolm

He's just using you and what's worse is you're falling for it!

Cynthia

Leave me alone!

Reese

You heard her.

Malcolm

But... What's her name?

Reese

What?

Malcolm

What's her name?

Reese

I know what her name is and I am not going to dignify that with a response. And her name is...

Cynthia

[beating Reese to a pulp] HOW CAN YOU BE SO CREEPY?! DON'T YOU EVEN HAVE THE REMOTEST SENSE OF DECENCY TOWARDS A FELLOW HUMAN BEING?! I HAVE FEELINGS! I WILL BE TREATED WITH RESPECT!

Cynthia

[offscreen] I WILL NOT BE OBJECTIFIED!!!! I WILL NOT BE HUMILIATED OR DEMEANED!! NOW KISS MY SHOE! KISS MY SHOE!!!