[Nani watches the news]
RReporter
We're here at the Kokaua Town Fair, where apparently, a giant orchid has burst out of its potted plant, causing pandemonium.
[shocked and angry] JUMBA!!
JumbaWhat?! What is emergency?!
What do you know about that?! [points to the TV]
RReporter
I've never seen anything like this! It's as if alien plants have taken over the fair! James, are you getting this?! Oh, no! [screams]
Jumba
Is 509... but looks much heavier on television. Little girl has been breaking big rules!
[Jumba inspects Stitch's ears]
Jumba
This is work of Experiment 613. Was first attempt to wreak havoc with high-decibel sonic disturbance, resonate compression, and osculating vibrational distortion. Simple to say, he makes loud noises.
Jumba
Sonic blast can shatter windows, flatten buildings, and cause acute loss of hearing.
Jumba
Acute loss of hearing!
Jumba
[puts a conch shell in Stitch's ear] ACUTE LOSS OF HEARING!!
Jumba, there's nothing cute about hearing loss.
Jumba
Is correct. Fortunately, in 626's case, is only temporary.
Good! We can catch 613 and still be home in time to write that letter to the mayor before dinner. Come on, Stitch.
Jumba
No, no, no! 626's super hearing makes him super sensitive to super sonic attack. He cannot be going.
Can't you make him something like those earmuffs Gantu was wearing?
Jumba
Of course! Can have ready by next Tuesday.
Jumba
Monday is federal holiday.
[Stitch gets an idea to get Digger and Richter to go on the asteroid and destroy it, saving Earth]
Jumba
Crazy idea.
So crazy that it might actually work, right?
Jumba
No. Just crazy.
Lilo, what's going on here?
I told you. There's an asteroid heading towards Earth. We were going to evacuate everyone, but I think we'll go on a secret mission to destroy the asteroid instead.
Lilo, there hasn't been anything on the news about this. Anyone who'd believe you would have to be completely lolo!
Yo, dudes! Hey, sorry I'm late. Just stopped for a pepperoni slice. [walks into Jumba's ship]
See? It's true! Ask Cobra Bubbles. He knows!
Okay! I'll call him. Nobody makes one single move until I get back! [leaves]
[Lilo, Stitch, and Jumba run into the ship]
[Lilo learns that the asteroid is home to a small crabby alien]
We can't blow up this asteroid!
Jumba
Excusing me?! But is your idea!
This is that crabby guy's home, and he loves it. Just like we love the Earth. We can't destroy it.
Jumba
Can't destroy Earth, can't destroy asteroid... Wait... HA! I am more genius! I am having a theory. If Jumba designed hyperdrive to move ship millions of miles to Kweltiquan, it can perhaps move asteroid off course with Earth.
You mean, we can save Earth and the asteroid? [Jumba winks at her] Way to go, Jumba! You're hardly evil at all!
But... if we put the hyperdrive on the asteroid, we won't be able to cross the vast distances involved in interstellar travel. You and I might never be able to return to our home planets!
Jumba
We have home planet, with little girl, and bigger girl, on Earth.
Okay, you got me... you big jerk!
[after many failed attempts to do it over, Lilo and Stitch decide to travel 5 minutes earlier than usual; however, they find themselves at the front of a prison camp]
[notices the time machine labeled "future"] Uh-oh. You turned the dial the wrong way. Instead of going backward, you went forward. Way forward. We better go back to 12:00.
FJFuture Jumba
[wearing tattered clothing and eyepatches] Experiment 626, you're alive?!
Eh?! [pull the switch and goes back in time with Lilo]
FJFuture Jumba
Hmm. Was that my time-surfing board?
[after the time machine was destroyed by Melty, Future Jumba appears with another]
FJFuture Jumba
Little girl, 626, I have arrived to saving your behinds!
You brought us a new time machine!
FJFuture Jumba
It has taken decades for to realize what happened here so long ago. From the day I showed you my time-surfer, fabric of time was broken. House was melted, our little family broken beyond compare, I lost two of my eyesights, and yech! Don't even ask what happened to Pleakley! It was not until I saw you surfing through time that I was having two and two!
I'm sorry I ruined the future.
FJFuture Jumba
Little girl, you can fix everything, but only one way: You must go back to beginning and relive it exactly as it originally happened.
You mean, I'll have to humiliate myself in front of Keoni?
FJFuture Jumba
A broken time strand can only be repaired when relived exactly. But more important, is accepting of your mistake. If you are dwelling in past, you cannot be living in present, and will lose sight of future. Now, get going before something melts this machine, too! [laughs] Go, go!
Thanks, Jumba! [she and Stitch go back in time]
FJFuture Jumba
Good luck, little girl!
[Present Jumba appears]
Jumba
What are you doing here?!
FJFuture Jumba
I have come to give you warning: Whatever you do, do not build robot wife! Too easy for them to hack into bank account!
[Stitch does a magic show that does not exactly go as planned]
[whispers to Jumba] You can't tell them how bad they are. It might hurt their self-esteem.
Aside from the last trick which does need polishing, and the rest of the tricks that need to be completely overhauled, what do you think?
Jumba
Well, it's completely...
Amazing! Absolutely, completely amazing!
Good! 'Cause we have our first gig at Mertle's half birthday tomorrow!
Jumba
"Half birthday"?
She's so spoiled she gets two a year.
And we wouldn't want to fail there! In front of all your friends. [Lilo is shocked and embarrassed by the comment] Imagine how embarrassing that'd be!
[Lilo realizes that she accidentally grabbed an invisible Houdini while Gantu ran off with an invisible Stitch]
Lookie here. I promised Mertle's Aunt Stacy the Stupendous Stitch would make a lighthouse disappear! And by golly, she's going to get the Stupendous Stitch MAKING A LIGHTHOUSE DISAPPEAR!
[Houdini, frightened by Pleakley disappears and runs off]
You spooked him! Houdini, wait! Great. No Stitch, no Houdini, and national TV waiting! Could it get any worse?!
Jumba
And don't forget, not-so-friendly friend Mertle is waiting to ridicule you. [laughs]
Right. Thanks for reminding me.
[Jumba converts the buggy to a boat so Lilo and Stitch can capture 602' Jumba watches them via binoculars]
See anything? How're they doing?
Jumba
Little girl and 626 are in position, but the waves keep rocking the boat, making it difficult to get a clear view. Back and forth... Up and down... [Pleakley's face turns green at the thought of the boat rocking] Back and forth... Up and down...
I think I'm gonna heave-ho! [topples over]
Jumba
Ah! 199! One of my favorites.
Says here he... "digs up dirt"?
Jumba
Not to be taken literally. 199 is like spy, designed to get nose into everybody's business.
[walks in holding a book] Look what I found!
My secret catalog of local vampires. I've been looking for that everywhere.
Found it under 626's pillow!
[Lilo glares at Stitch, who then glares at Nosy]
Jumba
[chuckles] You see? 199 is very nosy.
Nosy, huh? Then why'd you make him?
Jumba
Why else? To humiliate enemies by digging up most embarrassing secrets. 199 is quite entertaining with so much juicy gossip, no?
[Pleakley is forcing Lilo, Stitch, and Jumba to learn better etiquette for the Jamesons]
[he blow the whistle] Roll-call, everybody dressed?
Jumba
Cannot breathing into tight disco pants, oh! Must drop anything.
Ta-da. [he walks downstairs but he step his tie and he trips, rolling on downstairs to Lilo] Ta-da.
Hmmm... Actually, I was more comfortable with a dog disguise.
Pleakley, I got more eggs for the... AUGH! Pleakley! They're gonna be here in less than an hour! You're supposed to be cooking!
Don't worry your little head, Nani. The traditional yule log is roasting as we speak.
Yule log? But it's summer!
Well, Helen the hostess featured one on her show just yesterday. I think she knows what she's doing.
That was a rerun! Yule logs are for December, and they're not food! [doorbell rings] Whoever it is, tell them to...
Aloha. We thought we'd arrive early to help, that's what Aloha hospitality is all about.
[chuckles] Right. Come on in.
You know, Helen the hostess says, it's rude to arrive before...[Nani elbows him]
Um...Mr. Jameson, this is my Aunt Pleakley, my Uncle Jumba, my sister Lilo and our...dog. Who dresses up sometimes.
Jumba
So nice for to be making your acquaintance seeing, Mr. Emerson.
It's Jameson, dear. [chuckles] He's not good with names. Sometimes forgets mine. [chuckles]
Guess what I found out? Jumba, Pleakley, and Stitch, they're all aliens! But, hey! Who am I'm a judge? I'm an alien, too!
[Nani gasped]
Hey, you're Keoni! Lilo keeps a bunch of pictures of you in her diary. [as Stitch drags him and walks off] Boy, does she have a crush on you.
[after Jumba and Pleakley receive a message from the Grand Councilwoman that Hämsterviel escaped prison]
I can't believe it. The Grand Councilwoman of the Galactic Federation never calls us unless.. [grabs Jumba by his shirt] INTERGALACTIC ANNIHILATION IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER!!! WHAT DO WE DO?!?
Jumba
First step is to be gaining composure and LETTING GO OF ME!!
[523 freezes Kauai via helicopter; Jumba works on Splodyhead/Experiment 619, who Jumba misnumbers as "515"]
Jumba
Five Fifteen, your thermostat is adjusted. Hot wave should no longer overheat you.
SSplodyhead
Ih! [crawls away]
Jumba
[chuckles] Don't mention it!
Splodyhead! Beware, beware! Jumba, we're being invaded. Millions of little white aliens are landing outside as we speak!
[Lilo and Stitch captures Slushy and brings him back to the house, which has just thawed out]
Finally! The sun is back, and so are you! You must've caught the little snow monster.
Oh, thank the kings of Groovplok 5! No more of that freezing cold snow! It's awful! Just awful!
Jumba
Eh, actually it's not awful enough. Only makes everything cold and wet. No, not very evil at all.
But it makes snow, and that's good. You can slide on it, throw it at each other, even make snow zombies out of it. So... wanna try it with me?
SJStitch, Jumba and Pleakley
No!
Well, fine! Go inside! I am gonna play in the snow! [lets Slushy out of his container] Alright, Slushy. Do your stuff! But only for my house!
[Slushy uses his ice breath to make it snow all over Lilo's house]
[Gantu captures Slushy and makes him freeze Kauai over]
Good thing you like snow now, huh, Stitch?
Jumba
Indeed! Experiment 523 works better than ever dreamed! If ice spewing continues, entire island would be transformed from tropical paradise to frozen tundra forever! Is very evil after all! [laughs maniacally but then stops to see Lilo and Stitch glaring at him] Oh, right. Not big fans of evil. Sorry!
Lilo & Stitch: The Series · 382 quotes
