Mac McDonald quotes from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Mac

Stride, stride, execute!

Mac

Parenting is pretending you know what you're talking about, then jamming it down their throat!

Mac

“People change, Frank. Look at me: I went from a tiny twink to the muscle-bound freak you see before you.”

Mac

"As a man who works very hard to maintain a certain level of physical excellence... I find shortcuts insulting. Now give me a piece of ham now!"

Mac

OH, GREAT AND ANGRY GOD, I COMMAND THEE TO SMITE MY FRIENDS!

Mac

I'm gonna save my dad's life!

Mac

Then don’t break ‘em, bitch!

Mac

Rip City!

Mac

Did you know that a faggot is a burning bundle of sticks on top of which they used to burn homos? So, basically, when you call someone a faggot, you are saying that they should be burned at the stake.

Mac

[to Sweet Dee and Charlie] Are you two seeing this?

Dennis

[gayly] ...boys are out tonight, huh?

Mac

This is unbelievable. What the hell is going on here? You got black women crawling all over you, and this Mary over here is the belle of the ball. Why do these people like you guys so much?

Charlie

Well dude, it's not that they like us, it's that they don't like you. You know why? Uhh... because you're an asshole!

Bout to bust that shit up Reece, Bout to bust that shit up Boy!

Mac

Absolutely.

Terrell

Yeah, I know.

Mac

Whoa, whoa, whoa, we don't want any trouble.

Terrell

What?

Dee

Guys, this is Terrell... From my acting class.

Terrell

You know, when I'm promoting, you better believe everybody and their mama gonna be there. You know what I mean? There's gonna be brothers, white boys, Latinos, whatever. You know, we got niggas hanging from the rafters. So, we got like 400 plus packed into this tiny little place-

Dennis

Whoa, whoa, whoa, you said you had 400 people packed into this place?

Terrell

You damn right I got 400 - that's my job, man. And it's mostly college kids. You know, my sister goes to Temple, so I got the hookup over there.

Mac

Ah, and hookups are good. But just to be clear, when you say your sister, do you mean your sister or your friend?

Dennis

Dude.

Dee

Oh, Jesus.

Terrell

I mean my sister.

Mac

Oh, ok, cool. I was just - because - he could mean his friend or his sister and I was just -

Charlie

Stop talking.

Terrell

So we're packing into this little bitty place over on Walnut, right? We're halfway through the night, everything's going alright. You know what I mean? All of a sudden, I notice this dude eyeballing me from across the bar.

Dennis

Shit.

Terrell

And I don't know if this dude wants to freak me or fight me, you know what I'm saying?

Charlie

He's giving you crazy eyes.

Terrell

The insane, crazy eyes, right?

Charlie

I know that.

Terrell

So I walk over to this guy. He's this big, cut, Mexican dude and I look at him and say, "Yo, ese, unless you want to get your ass torn apart, you'd better get this look off of your face."

Dee

No...

Mac

You walked right up to him and said that?

Terrell

I had to, man. You gotta make the first move. Always make the first move, you know what I'm saying?

Dennis

I know.

Mac

That's so badass.

Dee

So what happened?

Terrell

Well, hey, he won't stop staring me down and we're, like, eyeball to eyeball, his grill is right up in mine. It feels like an eternity, son, right? Finally, he just opens up his mouth and says (Mexican accent) "I guess you're gon' have to tear my ass apart, holmes."

Charlie

Oh, man. So, what did you do?

Terrell

Took him to the back alley and tore his ass apart.

Mac

Guys, listen, honestly, I think we should think about hiring Terrell.

Charlie

For what?

Mac

You heard him! When he's promoting, everybody and they mama looking to get in.

Charlie

That's true, they do have "niggers hanging from the rafters."

Mac

[on abortion] It's nobody's choice! It should be left up to God!

Dee

Is he jo..? Is that..? Are you.. joking?

Mac

No, it's not a joke! You remember Genesis? Book two, verse three: And he breatheth into the nostrils of Adam on the first day and it was good.

Dee

Right in his nostrils, huh? Sounds really uncomfortable.

Dennis

[to Mac] You're making an asshole out of yourself.