It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia · Season 7, Episode 2
“The Gang goes to Jersey Shore” · Season 7, Episode 2
In this episode: Dennis Reynolds (4), Mac McDonald (4), Charlie Kelly (3), Frank Reynolds (3), Sweet Dee Reynolds (1)
"Yeah, me too. I would love to go on a vacation."
"Yeah but not to the Jersey Shore though. That place sounds like a nightmare."
" What's wrong with the Jersey Shore?"
"Come on, you've seen that TV show. It's just a bunch of sweaty Guidos getting hopped up on energy drinks and giving each other diseases."
Hoooooolllllyyyy Shhhittt! Is that the ocean?
Yeah buddy that's the ocean.
What's on the other side of it there?
Europe
Now how long would it take....
Do not try to swim to Europe.
Don't swim to Europe.
Whoa! What's that? You were supposed to get booze!
This is Ham... *soaked* in Rum. It's Loaded with booze.
Goddamn it Frank, eating your drinks? That is genius!
Hey, warm sun, cool ocean breezes, getting rip sh*t on ham.
Wouldn't you say we're getting... Hammered?
"As a man who works very hard to maintain a certain level of physical excellence... I find shortcuts insulting. Now give me a piece of ham now!"
(Charlie, Dennis and Sweet Dee have just run into two homeless men having anal sex under the boardwalk, just as Dennis has been telling Charlie about the romanticism of the Boardwalk.)
Charlie (disgusted): NO! NO! NO! NO! WHAT WAS THAT?!
A couple of homeless guys banging each other!
I know that, but why?! That's not magical! That's not romantic!
Wait a minute, wait a minute! where's the rum ham?!
[Pointing to the ham floating away] Ah.
Ahhhhh! I'm sorry, rum ham! I'm sorry.,.rum ham.
[Pointing to women sitting across from them] Like, what's her story? She's got a decent bone structure. She was probably very pretty when she was young. Probably spent her summers here lounging on the beach and scooping ice cream.
But she didn't want her summers to end, so she got herself a fake ID and a push-up bra and started hanging out at the local bars.
Yep. Developed a nasty coke habit 'cause she loved the way it made her feel. Extreme highs gave way to extreme lows and she fell into a depression.
Had herself a kid. Thought it would give her a sense of purpose. And it did for a while, until she started using again.
Mm-hmm. Then social services came knocking on the door, and now the kid lives upstate with his grandparents 'cause she can't take care of this kid. And here she is, festering away in a one-bedroom apartment, waiting for the HIV to turn into AIDS. And wondering what the hell...
You know I can hear you, right?
Oh sorry, we were just using you as a metaphor though. We didn't mean anything personal.
Don't sweat it. You're not that far off.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
