Dr. Lisa Cuddy quotes from House

Vogler

It's the same motion as yesterday people, same reasons. All those in favor of dismissing Gregory House raise a hand.

Vogler

[sighs] Dr. Cuddy, you realize this is going to happen.

Dr. Cuddy

I can't do it.

Vogler

You can't abstain.

Dr. Cuddy

I'm not abstaining, I'm voting no.

Vogler

You've changed your mind since yesterday?! What did he do, buy you dinner and roses, threaten to drown your dog?

Dr. Cuddy

He did his job.

Vogler

[sarcastically] Right, he saved another life.

Dr. Cuddy

Maybe.

Vogler

Good for him, it's great, it's not the point.

Dr. Cuddy

It's what we do.

Vogler

And you could do it a lot better if you didn't have to worry about some madman running around the hospital accountable to no-one.

Dr. Cuddy

But that's not the choice you're giving us!

Vogler

[cutting in] House won't listen to anyone...

Dr. Cuddy

[cutting in] And you're not accountable to anyone either, because you think you own us.

Vogler

[sighs] I move for the immediate dismissal of Doctor Lisa Cuddy.

She's upset, we all are. [to Cuddy] Why would you risk your career to save him?

Dr. Cuddy

If you think House deserves to go, if you think I deserve to go, Wilson deserved to go then vote yes. But if you're doing this because you are afraid of losing his money, then he's right, he does own you. [gets up to go] You have a choice, maybe the last real one you'll have here. [leaves]

Dr. Cuddy

Dr. House! We need you here.

Dr. House

Sorry, lotta sick people. I might catch something.

Dr. House

Wow. Well, you've certainly given me a lot to think about. If only I was as open as you.

Dr. Cuddy

Well...

Dr. House

Actually, it was your blouse I was talking to.

House

Death row guy. I want the case.

Cuddy

How do you even know about him? You don't have access to the hospital's mainframe.

House

No, but "partypants" does.

Cuddy

You stole my password?

House

Hardly counts as stealing; it's a pretty obvious choice.

House

Well, I don't want to say anything bad about another doctor, especially a useless drunk.

Cuddy

You're addicted to pain pills.

House

But I'm not useless.

Dr. House

Is it still illegal to perform an autopsy on a living person?

Dr. Cuddy

Are you high?

Dr. House

If it's Tuesday, I'm wasted.

Dr. Cuddy

It's Wednesday.

Dr. Cuddy

You broke into my house?!

Dr. House

No, that would be wrong. I had a key.

Dr. House

Chase killed that woman, now Foreman's in charge?

Dr. Cuddy

Yeah, we have a pecking order here, if Cameron kills somebody, Chase takes over. There's a flow chart in the lobby.

Dr. Cuddy

Tell me... if it is your aim to sell me the same crazy ideas as House does, how are you an improvement on House?

Dr. Foreman

I... brought you a coffee?

Stacy

What was Greg like after I left?

Dr. Cuddy

Er, an egomaniacal, narcissistic pain in the ass — same as before you left.

Dr. Cuddy

You induced a migraine headache in a coma patient?

Dr. House

I gave him a little headache, similar to the one you're giving me now.

Dr. Cuddy

Have you even read an ethical guideline?

Dr. Wilson

[gruff disguised voice] House, this is God.

Dr. House

[in MRI chamber] Look, I'm a little busy right now. Not supposed to talk during these things. Got time Thursday?

Dr. Wilson

Let me check. Oh! I got a plague. What about Friday?

Dr. House

You'll have to check with Cameron.

Dr. Wilson

Oh! Damn it! She always wants to know why bad things happen. Like I'm gonna come up with a new answer this time.

Dr. Cuddy

House...

Dr. House

Quick, God, smite the evil witch! [Wilson wisely says nothing]

Dr. Cuddy

Are you sitting on evidence that your patient was sexually abused by her father?

Dr. House

God, why have you forsaken me?

Dr. Cuddy

House, don't you think that's a little manipulative?

Dr. House

No, I think it's hugely manipulative.

Dr. Wilson

You'd give your own wife herpes just to shift the blame?

Dr. Cuddy

He'd give his own mother herpes if it got him out of clinic duty.

Dr. Cuddy

These are your big ideas? Somebody's lying?

Dr. House

Hasn't let me down yet.