Park quotes from House

So, nobody cares about the position until I apply, and suddenly it's the last limited-edition lightsaber at ComiCon?

82 pounds. [Everyone stares] How much weight I put on when my break ended the same way. People were calling me "Park-ing Lot."

You do know I punched the last person that pissed me off?

[while rolling her eyes and walking away] Was it Santa?

Dr. Wilson, I need your advice. Um, I bet House $100 that I wouldn't get fired after my disciplinary hearing. Ever since then he's been acting like he's actually trying to get me fired.

Dr. James Wilson

That's because he is actually trying to get you fired.

Does he hate me?

Wilson

I'm not sure that's relevant to the equation.

So it's really over $100.

Wilson

I'm not sure the amount is relevant. He's fighting for his honor.

He'll ruin my career!

Wilson

I'm not sure that's...

What if I bet him $200 I WILL get fired?

Wilson

He sees competing bets from the same person a disgrace to the game. He'll be even more motivated to beat you.

If you were me, what would you do?

Wilson

You have to give him something he values more than honor. And you should update your resume.

House

Loyalty to real estate is stupid, because loyalty is stupid.

First patriotism, now loyalty. You hate ice cream, too?

House

French vanilla. To willfully identify yourself as something is a perversion of self-expression.

House

I claim this burger in the name of Queen Isabella of Spain.

I'll go check on the patient. [she gets up and House is about to bite down on her burger] I have hepatitis C.

[as House is about to bite down on her burger instead] She got it from me.

But it could end up causing another cardiac arrest.

House

Hopefully, and we'll know what set it off.

Chase

What he means is, it's better to do it here where we can revive him than have it happen somewhere else.

House

The prodigal son has returned. [hugs Chase]

I'm sorry. I thought I was here to treat the patients, not entertain you.

House

Would it hurt to do both?

Sex releases oxytocin. It's the neurochemical basis for bonding.

House

And that's why men always marry their right hands.

It's different for girls.

No it's not. I've tapped over 30 guys and never wanted to see most of them again. [everyone stares] I live next to a Jewish frat.

House

We are veering wildly off track. Please continue.

[to Will, the patient] I'm Dr. Park, by the way. I'm 5'2", Asian, and I'm totally cool with it if you want to feel my face.

Blind people only do that in movies.

But you sound nice, so if you want me to...

Have you ever paid for sex?

Taub

Every guy who has ever seen a Merchant-Ivory movie has paid for sex