Gregory House quotes from House

Dr. House

What would you prefer - a doctor who holds your hand while you die or one who ignores you while you get better? I suppose it would particularly suck to have a doctor who ignores you while you die.

Dr. House

Reality is almost always wrong.

Dr. House

This is our fault. Doctors over-prescribing antibiotics. Got a cold? Take some penicillin. Sniffles? No problem. Have some azithromycin. Is that not working anymore? Well, got your Levaquin. Antibacterial soaps in every bathroom. We'll be adding vancomycin to the water supply soon. We bred these superbugs. They're our babies. And they're all grown up and they've got body piercings and a lot of anger.

Dr. House

Ah, my birthday. Normally I'd put on a festive hat and celebrate the fact that the Earth has circled the Sun one more time; I really didn't think it was going to make it this year, but darn it if it wasn't the little planet that could all over again.

Dr. House

I don't ask why patients lie. I just assume they all do.

Dr. House

[to Georgia] I'm sorry, but the fact that the sexual pleasure center of your cerebral cortex has been over-stimulated by spirochetes is a poor basis for a relationship. Learned that one the hard way.

Dr. House

DNR means Do Not Resuscitate. It does not mean Do Not Treat!

Dr. House

Like I always say, there's no "I" in "team." There is a "me," though, if you jumble it up.

Dr. House

[to Dr. Foreman] You took a chance, you did something great. You were wrong, but it was still great. You should feel great that it was great. You should feel like crap that it was wrong. That's the difference between him and me; he thinks you do your job, and what will be will be. I think that what I do, and what you do matters. He sleeps better at night. He shouldn't.

Dr. House

Okay, life sucks. Your life sucks more than most. It's not as bad as some, which is depressing all by itself. But do me a favor: just let me find out what's wrong with you.

Dr. House

Hey! He knows more homeless people than any of us! [to Foreman] Go check out the hood, dawg.

Dr. House

I take risks; sometimes patients die. But not taking risks causes more patients to die, so I guess my biggest problem is I've been cursed with the ability to do the math.

Dr. House

We have managed to find the only sportsman in the galaxy who is not on steroids!

Dr. House

We're a bit of a specialized hospital. We generally only deal with patients when they're actually sick.

Dr. House

Physician-patient confidentiality protects me from annoying conversations.