Gordon quotes from Hell's Kitchen

Louross! Raw steak!!

Ohhhhhh.

And he goes like this, "Ohhhhhh." as if he's performing for the Oscars. If your fucking cooking was as good as your acting, you'd be talented, you dick!

(interview) It started off good and then all of the sudden, it fucking went downhill.

What's the matter?

Twenty-three. They're all medium rare.

Oh fuck me! Ohhhhh. Louross! Come here, you! Let's go and you touch it well. Come on, touch! (touches the raw steak on his hand)

Blue, chef! BLUE!

Yeah, it's raw. How could I get down on my knees. Yeah, it's fucking raw! Hey, look at me! Is that better? It's raw, you fucking idiot!

(interview) Louross is really just dropped the ball to horrific, horrendous, it's just horrible. He just could not handle meat station at all.

Oh, fucking hell! Oh, come on.

(to himself) This is not good at all.

[after Jean-Philippe returned again with filet mignon] Hey, you, you, you, come here! Look at that... look! Three of the have come back! You put your team into shit!

(interview) I hate the word "filet mignon" out, I do seriously. If I ever see another filet mignon, I will like throw it. Oh like, that someone's face.

(to Louross) One more fucking steak returns to the kitchen, I'm closing your kitchen.

With the threat of a shut down looming, Louross tries again on the meat station.

(to Jean-Philippe) What about the lady on [table] 41 with the filet mignon?

They just left, chef.

They just left? (calls out Louross) Hey, come here you! The customer's gone! Customer's fucking GONE. (tears the ticket then throws it to Louross) SHIT!! (kicks the bins)

It's not even cooked.

Is it raw?

Yeah.

(to Jen) Watch, watch. There you go. (drains some liquid from the dessert and drops the dessert on the plate, breaking it) HEY--FUCK--OFF! Dumb Jen, turn your stove off!

Fire a wellington, chicken, John Dory... [notices that Christina is cooking beef and chicken in the same pan] Uh, excuse me. [to Christina] Why are we cooking chicken and beef in the same pan?

Sorry chef there just wasn't a lot of room up here on these burners

Supposedly someone doesn't like red meat!

(interview) I thought hot pan, plenty of room let's just cook it, it'll be cool.

Get it out!

Yes, chef. (interview) No, not cool!

Bobby, they've (Christina) got beef and chicken in a pan. Now you've got salmon and scallops in the pan.

Uh... I needed this time to fly (interview) Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo. I didn't really have an excuse.

Hey, aren't you allergic to shellfish?

Yeah. (interview) Chef was right! Woo!

Oh, my God!

[sees Matt eating] Why are you eating?

I'm not. I'm ta-

COME HERE, YOU! YOU FUCKING IDIOT! I'm standing here struggling to get food out, I just watched you turn and eat!

I'm tasting my wellingtons, chef.

(points to the customers) They're struggling and you're going to be the one fucking eating!

(interview) Matt, are you kidding me?

Can I get some meats out here, please?

Yes, chef!

With food finally leaving the kitchen, all Chef Ramsay wants...

Why are we going with this table?

I'm coming up with it, chef! (brings his meat to the pass)

...is to keep it going.

All of you, just fucking come here! You (Corey) as well with your burn! This is why I'm pissed off! Touch that. That's (wellington) fucking raw, and that's (beef) fucking what? Look at the colour of it. [Matt tries to retrieve the meat; Gordon knocks his hand away, gets a filet and wellington and angrily throws them in the bin] I'M ASKING YOU A QUESTION! SHIT!! I'm asking you the question, what is it?! It's overcooked!!

(interview) Matt seems to be like a 5-year old trapped in a 35-year old body. He doesn't know when to stop.

(gets a ticket at the pass) Sorry, chef.

Oh, please. Don't touch me.

I have a migraine.

Oh, can you fuck... I need the ticket here! (Matt leaves the pass, Gordon asks him) What's going next?

I'm busy getting yelled at.

Fucking idiot, come here! What did you say then? You're busy getting what?

No, chef.

You just gave me overcooked meat, overcooked fucking filet, overcooked. Now you're saying "I'm getting yelled at!"

(interview) It wasn't my fault when everyone else fell behind. I'm the big team player, I just don't team players around me.

So don't start acting fucking smarmy with me while we're standing here in the shit, whereas you put me in the shit!

I can't fucking concentrate anymore.

Salmon, John Dory, chicken, wellington, fillet mignon, rib eye!

Guys, how long now?

I don't know, I'm trying to work on my migraine.

(interview) Matt is someone who is excuses for himself. Absolute fucked in a headache you know, come on pull through it. He's a crybaby and he is definitely getting more insane by in a minute. (to Matt) Matt, how long on the fillet?

(to Corey) I'll tell you in a second. (holds a well cooked fillet mignon) three minutes.

You guys are a fucking bunch of losers. (to Matt) What's going, Matt? What's going?

Two risottos, one fillet, one lamb and fish (salmon).

No!

No, that's right. No. He's got migraine. Look! Hey, look at there, Scott!

(laughs) Oh, fuck!

Not funny. I got a medical pills and I work through it.

He's got a migraine. Come here in a minute and let me just tell you something, you have a migraine? (quietly, to Matt) I've had one ever since you walked in here. Why have you just forty-two minutes ago to completely forgot and give you a favour?

I have no feeling in my hands--

No feeling in your hands? Yeah, come here. [takes hold of Matt's hand and walks him out of the kitchen, as if though Matt just peed his pants] Go upstairs the dorm and lie down, yes? Lie down.

But I want to work through it.

[turns around] GET OUT! FUCKING GET OUT! (rekindles Matt) "I got a migraine?" Fuck off... fucking useless pieceashit...

(interview) Matt doesn't take any responsibility for his actions, everybody in this place here has a migraine right now my brain feels like it's about to explode but I don't give up in that kitchen

FOUR MINUTES TO THE WINDOW TWO WELLINGTON, ONE FUCKING RIBEYE! HURRY UP CHRISTINA!

Yes, chef. [Sees a pan of rice] Oh, shit! [holds the rice and burns her hand] Who the fuck left this rice on here, guys?

What is that?

It's burnt rice, chef.

Who put that on there?

I don't know, chef.

Sorry. chef. I forgot about it.

Fucking useless. [scrapes the burnt rice and throws it on a chopping board]

(interview) Jen burnt the rice. It was sitting on my station, all she has to do and say, "Hey, I'm putting this rice here."

(quietly to Jen) Get out. Get out and get to the dorm. GET OUT! I'm not fucking around now. Get out!

(interview) I completely forgot that I put the rice on. I feel bad for that and that was my honest mistake.

(to Christina) Hey, she put it on, you've been standing next to it for an hour, you take off your apron and fuck off as well!

Yes, chef.

(interview) Oh, my God has this been a crazy night!

Hey, all of you: Fuck yourselves. Get out! GET OUT! [The remaining chefs leave the kitchen] Fuck off will you, yeah? [rubbing his face] Oh... Shit!

Yeah, anything piping hot-- [grabs the handle of the pan and burns his hand] Ah, shit! Fuck! Ah shit! Don't stop and look stupid like some thick cow!

Yes, chef.

Aw, fuck! Fuck's sake! [cools his hand with cold water] Christina, the handle was over the flame. The fucking handle's over the stove, at least say something to somebody.

Yes, chef.

Now, you're just acting like a fucking idiot. Yes?

No, chef.

(interview) Chef Ramsay was burning bad by Christina today. I know he was pissed!

SHIT!

(interview) Ooh, Christina messing up over there for real.

Fuck me!

Do not burn the chef!

Fuck! Look at me and I'm fucking serious now. If a handle is over the fucking flame, say something, will you please, yes?

Yes, chef.

One more time and you're fucking finished!

(interview) I just burned Chef Ramsay. That's really not cool. My mistake. Not going to happen again, trust me.

Garnish, please!

Coming right now, chef. Coming, chef.

[grabs the handle and burns his hand again] Aw, shit! Fucking hell! I'm getting fucked here again! Christina, I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!

(interview) When Chef Ramsay burned himself twice, you can smell his skin all across the room burning. I'm like DAMN!!

[cools his hand again] SHIT! Hey look, come here you look. [pours cold water over the handle and steam comes off] You're not even fucking telling me.

(interview) He poured water over the handle of the pot and it sizzled. It was really hot.

That's unbearable now.

I was just like oh, shit!

Now I think you're doing it on purpose to fucking wire me up. Hey, you're doing it really well because I'm getting fucked off! If a pan handle is over the fucking flame, say something! Will you please, yes?

Yes, chef!

Wake up!

Yes, chef. (interview) (sighs)

And the name of the dish is what?

Mahi Gone Bananas, chef.

[tastes the dish] It looks like you've gone slightly bananas. It's hideous. Back in line.

(interview) Ramsay's definitely just looking for a rise out of me, which he's going to eventually get.

So the idea came from where?

I just pulled it out of my ass, sir.

Put it back in there because it sucks.

Who's cooked the diapers?

No diapers, sir. That's smoked chicken enchiladas with poblano cream sauce. My name is Colleen.

Corinne.

Colleen.

Corinne.

COL-leen.

What do you do for a living?

I am a culinary instructor. I own a recreational cooking school.

And were you a trained chef before you set up a school?

No, I am not a trained chef.

So you're not a trained chef, yet you teach chefs to cook.

That's correct.

How much do you charge?

300 per three to four hours.

Right. Look at the size of it.

I feed big Nebraska boys. Would you like me to get you a bite?

No, I'll bite it myself. [tries dish, spits it out]

Okay.

You seriously charge $300 to teach people how to make that crap?

Yes–yes, chef.

I feel like I need some plastic wrap on my arse.

(interview) It was extremely difficult to stand there and to keep my mouth shut! (to Gordon) I teach manners, too, chef.

Say that again?

Cooking instructor Colleen not only offered Chef Ramsay a dish he didn't care for, but an etiquette lesson as well.

Okay, please, Miss Manners, fuck off back in line.

Looks like lamb chops on a bed of ratatouille.

Uh, that's mine, chef. (interview) To be like Chef Ramsay is my dream. I've read his books, I've visited his restaurant in Manhattan. I think we have very similar styles.

How long have you been cooking?

15 years around.

And what is it?

That's cinnamon-crusted rack of lamb with a(n) aubergine ratatouille.

The ratatouille, what's in there?

Tomatoes, onion, tomato sauce, tomato paste.

[spits out food] How come the aubergine's so sweet?

There's some honey, uh...

Honey in a ratatouille? Uh, is that normal?

No, chef.

That's the worst dish I've ever tasted. [Seth laughs] 15 years to cook that shit, and you're laughing. You can make history on being the fastest exit in Hell's Kitchen. And I'm fucking serious, you know that. Back in line. [Seth goes back in line] The quicker you understand how serious I am, the quicker you'll cook better.

I'll try harder next time, sir. (interview) I thought it looked all right. I think my presentation was good. I know it's a good dish. I got to prove to him that I can cook my ass off.

What's the matter?

This station is fucked up.

Come on, Coi.

(to Lacey) Don't say a fucking thing. (to Gordon) I come over here, there's nothing fucking done, chef. Nothing!

Okay, okay.

(to Coi) Now why don't you tell him how you threatened me?

(to Coi and Lacey) Oh, oh, wait. Right. I'm just about to open the doors, okay? Don't panic. I'm not asking you to be lovebirds, okay?

Absolutely.

Calm down, get a grip, and show me some form of composure, yes?

Yes, chef.

Oh, my God!

On order six covers, table 20: two spaghetti, two scallops, one risotto, one Caesar. Entrées: three Wellington, get them in!

[shouting over Gordon] Ben, you guys, get going!

I'm coming! I'm coming!

Hey you. Hey fuckwit, come here you. Come here! I'm calling out an order and you just shout over.

Sorry, chef.

You fucking call out the order then. You fuck, FUCKING call out the order!

I need one Caesar, two scallops, one risotto and two spaghetti now! (interview) Yeah, give me the reins, man! Let me drive this bitch!

You fucking interrupt me again next time, you're going for an early bath.

Yes.

A big one in the hot tub!

Danny? Come here, that's you. Overcooked scallops, let's go. It's not exactly rocket science.

Well, obviously, chef. [angrily slams his pan; Gordon gives him a dirty look]

(to Danny) Hey you, come here, you. Come here.

Yes, chef.

Okay, can you cook like a team member?

I'll wash their station and my station, chef.

How about communicating with them?

I did, chef.

Don't fucking dare start getting fucking pissed with me. Is that clear?

Chef, yes, chef.

Good. NOW JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

Where's the other spaghetti?

Waiting on pasta, chef.

[notices Colleen starting a fresh spaghetti in a dirty pan] Hey madam, madam, come here, come here, come here, come here. [gets Colleen's pan] You're starting a fresh one in dirty pan!

Yes, chef.

Oh!

(interview) The pan had already been used and I didn't have a chance to wipe it. I felt like an idiot.

You teach people how to cook! [slams the pan down on her station]

We have no more pans, chef.

[gets some pans from Andrea's station] Look! Pan, pan, pan!

Thank you.

You're going to start a fresh spaghetti in a dirty pan! Holy crap!