That's my James Earl Jones impression.
That is offensive. He shot Martin Luther King.
S2 E13Comeback
PPuck
Do dudes ever get erections when they wrestle with you?
If I was a country, my flag would be a big fist giving the rest of the world the finger.
PPuck
Can I touch your knockers now?
Only if you wanna lose your hand. But you're on your way.
I hate hospitals, William. That's why I kept voting for those death panels.
If I hear one song from that classic rock outfit journey, I will start pulling catheters.
My carousel horse sweater should make me look like an institutionalized toddler, but no. I look hot and smart. I feel like Michelle Obama.
Listen, Rachel. I'm gonna give you some tough love right now. You're not a trendsender. When people look at you, they don't see what you're wearing, they see a cat getting its temperature taken, and then they hear it screaming.
As our team leader and arbiter of all that is good, I must say: I don't think that song is good enough for Regionals.
(after talking to Rachel about her confidence) You know, she may be making a comeback. (walks away)
(smiles softly)
S2 E14Blame It On the Alcohol
Why, just this week, we've had five suspensions for intoxication on school grounds.
SStudent
Figgins, you rock! [lifts his shirt] Yeah man!
Six suspensions.
[talking on her cellphone] It sounds awful. Is anyone even going?
[walks next to Santana and holds out her cellphone] Let me find out. [dials Artie] Did you hear?
[on his cellphone] Yes. Mercedes just told me.
[pushing Artie's wheelchair] Tell them I'll go if they go.
Tell them yourselves. I ain't no Pony Express.
[rolls her eyes and turns on her headset] You're going, right?
Only if there's liquor. Because a Rachel Berry house party is not something I can do sober.
But it's Alcohol Awareness week.
Precisely and I'm aware of how much fun alcohol is. Let's ask Puckerman. [dials Puck]
PPuck
[on his cellphone] Go for Puck.
Noah, it's Santittany and Artcedes. Can your friends score us some wine coolers?
PPuck
No, but his I.D. can.
[Everyone meets up at the same time.]
Well if we're all in then it's settled. The Rachel Berry House Party Trainwreck Extravaganza is officially a go.
I love hearing about the glee club, but I'm actually more interested in you.
I suggest you pre-actively check into rehab, as you are a future alcoholic.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Glee pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.