Santana, Brittany and others in “Blame It On the Alcohol”

[talking on her cellphone] It sounds awful. Is anyone even going?

[walks next to Santana and holds out her cellphone] Let me find out. [dials Artie] Did you hear?

[on his cellphone] Yes. Mercedes just told me.

[pushing Artie's wheelchair] Tell them I'll go if they go.

Tell them yourselves. I ain't no Pony Express.

[rolls her eyes and turns on her headset] You're going, right?

Only if there's liquor. Because a Rachel Berry house party is not something I can do sober.

But it's Alcohol Awareness week.

Precisely and I'm aware of how much fun alcohol is. Let's ask Puckerman. [dials Puck]

[on his cellphone] Go for Puck.

Noah, it's Santittany and Artcedes. Can your friends score us some wine coolers?

No, but his I.D. can.