Emma Pillsbury quotes from Glee

Emma

Lindsay Lohan looks like something out of “Lord of the Rings”.

Emma

I'm not going to stand for this anymore. I'm not. I'm putting my foot down and I'm finally sticking up for myself. You're a slut, Will. You're a slut, you're a slut, you're a slut, you're a slut! Everybody should know that and you should know that I'm through with you.

Emma

I love hearing about the glee club, but I'm actually more interested in you.

Emma

Celibacy, ladies. Dig it!

Emma

I was born this way. Hooray. Hooray! Hooray!

Emma

Wow Will, that's a lot of vests.

Emma

So this is what being turned on feels like.

Emma

"So You're Freaking Out Because The Man You're Supposed to Marry Parades Back Into Town and You Don't Feel Like You Know Him Anymore."

Rachel

[about vomiting to lose weight] I tried but I guess I just don't have a gag reflex.

Emma

One day, when you're older, that'll turn out to be a gift.

Emma

I just got back from the emergency room. I had them give me four decontamination showers. I think they call that the full Silkwood.

Will

What happened?

Emma

Kurt was drunk and he ralphed on me. Not really fessing up to how he got the booze just yet, but I'm pretty sure it's not a fake I.D. because he looks like an eleven-year-old milkmaid. Will, I think it was April. Her backpack's always clinking with empties.

Emma

Kurt, I'm a girl who knows her solvents, and your breath smells like rubbing alcohol.

Kurt

Oh, Bambi... I cried so hard when those hunters shot your mommy.

Will

I've got to figure out some way to motivate them.

Emma

Okay, well, you, um you could, well, what about a sticker board? That's how my parents got me to do chores when I was a kid. All right, so I do a chore, and then I get a star, and then-

Sue

Oh, dear God. Please please stop talking. I'm trying desperately to ignore the treacly sweet insanity of your asinine conversation but now I've got bile in my mouth and I will hold my tongue no further. You know what this is? This is a list of my Cheerios. Every week I pick someone at random, and I kick 'em out.

Will

Yeah, well, in Glee club we do things a little bit differently.

Sue

Oh, yeah, Will? How's that workin' out for you? You have to remember something. We're dealing with children. They need to be terrified. It's like mother's milk to them. Without it, their bones won't grow properly. So if you want results with a kid you find that competitive animal within, and unleash it. [to Emma] Oh and that blouse is just insane. [gets up and leaves]

Emma

...Can't believe she's allowed to teach at this school.

Emma

You're such a great teacher, Will. No, probably the best in the whole school. So why would you want to be someone else when the someone you already are is so amazing?

Will

Because the boring someone I already am, wasn't good enough for you.

Emma

What happened to you, Sue? What horrible, horrible thing happened to you that made you such a miserable tyrant?"

Sue

Have a seat. Since I was a little girl, I've had exactly one hero. My big sister. You know how much I worshipped her? She was the sun and the moon to me. And while I was still very young, I noticed that other people didn't feel the way I did. People were rude to her. They were cruel. They laughed at her, and so I began to pray. I prayed every night for her to get better. And nothing changed. So I prayed harder. And after awhile I realized it wasn't that I wasn't praying hard enough. It's that no one was listening. Asking someone to believe in a fantasy, however comforting, isn't a moral thing to do. It's cruel.

Emma

Don't you think that's just a little bit arrogant?

Sue

It's as arrogant as telling someone how to believe in God, and if they don't accept it, no matter how open-hearted, or honest their dissent, they're going to hell. Well, that doesn't sound very Christian, does it?

Emma

Uh, more importantly, you didn't hurt Sam. It was a 300-pound left tackle who just got expelled because he's on steroids and he's 23. God works in all kinds of mysterious ways, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't spend a lot of time trying to speak to us through sandwiches. You look disappointed.

Finn

I am. It was sort of cool feeling like I had this direct line to God. Now I just feel like everybody else, you know, like we're all just floating around in space. I don't like that.

Emma

You're not alone. The big questions are really big for a reason--they're hard. But you know what? Absolutely everyone struggles with them.