Quinn Fabray quotes from Glee

Quinn

Does that work on the girls where you're from? The impressions, the bad jokes, the Navi?

Sam

I don't know. I went to an all boys boarding school.

Quinn

[nods] Now it makes sense.

Sam

I know what's it's like to have a secret you're ashamed of.

Quinn

[gasps] So...so you are gay!

Sam

What are you doing?

Quinn

We're not using them. You're paying.

Sam

Why?

Quinn

Because a gentleman always pays on the first date.

Will

Sam, I'd like you to play the role of the Creature.

Sam

[confused] From the Black Lagoon?

Quinn

Rocky. He's like the Frankenstein character, but blond. You'll kill the part. He's cute....just like you.

Quinn

Is it? Guys whisper behind our backs about how we look everyday. They objectify us all the time.

Santana

Yeah, earlier today Artie asked if he could make a gigantic omelet when I'm done with the ostrich eggs I'm smuggling in my bra.

Will

All right guys, let's get down to business. First, let's welcome back Noah Puckerman. [to Puck] Puck, I hope your time in juvie has taught you a lesson or two about right and wrong.

Are you kidding me? I ruled that place. All I did was crack skulls and lift weights all day.

Quinn

Wow, what a catch. I can't believe I ever let you go.

Quinn

I said, say my name.

Sam

[imagining Beiste]

[wearing a cheerleader suit] I said, say my name.

Sam

Beiste.

Quinn

[stops kissing Sam] Are you okay?

Quinn

So what do you want to talk about in private?

Sam

These galactic mobiles aren't the stars at McKinley. We are. Or at least I want us to be. I think I love you.

Quinn

Oh.

Sam

Look, my shoulder's healed up and I'm going to be the quarterback again soon. And you're already the head cheerleader. [Bends on one knee and opens a box with a ring]

Quinn

Oh my god, are you proposing? We've known each other for 6 weeks. Stand up. You're freaking me out.

Sam

I-I wanna marry you, someday. Until then, will you accept this promise ring?

Quinn

What are you, 6?

Sam:

[Stands up] If you accept, this ring will symbolize my promise to you to be true, to never pressure you to do anything more than kiss, to listen to your problems, to tell you when you have food in your teeth or eye gunk, to come over to your house whenever you need something super heavy to move around. I promise to make you feel proud when you walk down the hall and say, "That dude's my boyfriend." I promise to do all of those things without trying to sound like Matthew McConaughey.

Quinn

[Laughs softly]

Sam

[Bends down on one knee again] I really care about you, Quinn and I want us to be together.

Quinn

[Closes the box]

Sam

Is that a no?

Quinn

It's a maybe. [Leaves]

Rachel

Ladies, the Kurt/Karofsky bullying situation is getting way out of control. Kurt's miserable. He's losing weight and not in a good way and he's barely fighting me for solos anymore.

Tina

We've all been teased but something about what Karofsky's doing is so much worse.

Rachel

We're all lucky enough to have boyfriends on the football team. I say we band together and demand that they confront Karofsky.

Quinn

Okay, first of all, I'm not dating Sam. And second of all, I think you set the feminist movement back fifty years.

Rachel

Look, guys like Karofsky only respond to muscle.

Quinn

So, we're going to fight violence with violence?

Rachel

No! Look I'm not saying that we should hit him, I'm saying that we need to defend Kurt and there's strength in numbers.

Tina

So I'm confused. [Turns to Brittany] Are you and Artie officially dating now?

Brittany

Deal with it. When you guys ever fooled around, did he ever just, like, lie there?

Santana

[Walks in] Why didn't you tell me we were having a Glee girls meeting?

Rachel

This is a meeting for Glee girls with boyfriends. We're going to make them stop Karofsky from bullying Kurt.

Santana

Okay, I'm dating Puckerman.

Quinn

You're getting naked with Puckerman.

Tina

Besides, Puck can't mess with Karofsky. He's on probation. If he gets in a fight with him, he'll be sent back to juvee.

Rachel

Mm-hmm. So now if you'll excuse us.

Santana

[scoffs] You're so on my list, dwarf. [leaves]

Rachel

Look if something bad happens to Kurt and we didn't do anything to stop it, we'll never be able to live with ourselves.

Quinn

We've been talking this whole time and you haven't even noticed that I'm wearing your ring

Sam

How'd you get that?

Quinn

I broke into your locker. I've always been really handy with a nail file

Sam

Really?

Quinn

Mmm-hmm.

Artie

Brittany still believes in Santa Claus.

Mercedes

(holds in a laugh) You cannot be serious.

Sam

Last week, Brittany believed a comb had magic powers. This is kind of a pattern.

Quinn

She's gonna find out sooner or later.

Rachel

(looking at Finn)

Finn

(decorating the tree)

Rachel

Do you mind, um, meeting me at the auditorium tomorrow at four?

Finn

Sure.

Lauren

Someone's gotta break the news to her.

Uh uh. Not me. I mean I'm cruel and all but that's just hardcore.

Artie

That's my point. Hear me out. Remember how excited you get when you would think about Santa Claus? How awesome it was? Christmas was the highlight of the year. Why wouldn't you want to keep someone's world magical for a little longer?

Mike

How?

Artie

I got it all figured out.

Brittany

Go Mercedes, go Mercedes, go! (smiles)

Mercedes

(sitting on Santa's lap) I've been a very good girl, Santa. I want a pony and a dolly that laughs and cries and...one of us smells like McDonald's.

Lauren

(sitting on Santa's lap) I want Puckerman to love me. He's a fox. And I want sweet potato fries.

Santana

(sitting on Santa's lap) I want bling. I can't be more specific than that. Okay hold up. Don't tell that's a roll of Certs in your pocket. (gets off)

Artie

(nodding)

Quinn

(sitting on Santa's lap) Do you have anything for stretch marks?

Sam

(sitting on Santa's lap) Chapstick. Lots of Chapstick.

Mike

(sitting on Santa's lap) I want Channing Tatum to stop being in stuff.

Tina

(sitting on Santa's lap) When does Asian Santa arrive?

Next.

Brittany

(to Elf Lady) Just know, you have rights.

Ho, ho, ho.

Brittany

(sits on Santa's lap)

What's your name?

Brittany

Brittany. You've gotten really tan.

That's because in the North Pole there is a hole in the ozone.

Brittany

(laughs) You're amazing. I know you're really busy so I only want one thing for Christmas. (points to Artie) Do you see my boyfriend over there?

Artie

(waves)

Artie

(frowns)

(turns to Artie)

Artie

(shakes his head no)

Um...sure. I'm on it.

Brittany

Thank you Santa.

Artie

Now we're screwed.

Brittany

(hugs Santa)

Quinn

I can't believe I'm doing this. I look horrible with short hair.

Tina

Shut up. With your bone structure, you could totally pull off a Rosemary's Baby look. I'm going to look like Jackie Chan.

Artie

It's called a ReWalk. Some guy in Israel invented it. I can't use it all the time but...check me out. (slowly takes a few steps then stops)

Quinn

Where did you get it?

Sam

How the hell did you afford that thing?

Brittany

I didn't buy it. I didn't know what it was. I thought it was a Transformer.

Artie

(turns to Santana) I assumed her dad got it for me but he has no idea. He went to take a long poop and then it was there.

Rachel

So if no one knew who bought it for you then-

Brittany

Santa brought it.

Mercedes

Santa.

Artie

(nods) Santa.

Quinn

A real Christmas miracle.

(watching and smiling)