[about Puck in juvie] He may be the dumbest person on Earth and that's coming from me.
“Duets” · Season 2, Episode 4
In this episode: Kurt Hummel (10), Santana Lopez (8), Sam Evans (8), Quinn Fabray (6), Brittany Pierce (5), Tina Cohen-Chang (5), Mike Chang (5), Finn Hudson (4)
I'm Sam. Sam I am. And I don't like Green Eggs and Ham.
Wow, he has no game.
He's on Team Gay. No straight boy dyes his hair to look like Linda Evangelista circa 1993.
You're crazy circa 2010.
I have three gifts: My voice, my ability to spot trends in men's fashion and my ability to know when it comes from a bottle.
I love your Sweet Lady Kisses.
It's a nice break from all that scissoring.
How can you do a duet by yourself? That's like vocal masturbation or something.
[To Mercedes] Uhm, I'm sorry? Have you been to Breadstix? They are legally forbidden to stop bringing you bread-sticks. One time I bought a wheelbarrow and when the manager tried to stop me from filling it up I called the corporate office and got her fired.
We will be the undisputed top bitches in this school.
I'm only really generous if there's something in it for me.
Yeah. But I still like you.
I don't wanna do it.
We're duets partners. You have to sing!
I don't even know if I can sing! Everyone knows I'm here to do one thing...dance. You sing and I'll dance around you. You'll be fine.
But there was salad, my mom had salad last night!
My salad had chicken feet in it! At Breadstix, they don't have chicken feet in the salad! All I want is a normal night out, with a normal dinner, and a normal salad that doesn't have chicken feet in it!
Heeeeeeere...we go.
We should go to Asian couples therapy.
Why does it have to be Asian!
Aren't duets supposed to be like, between a girl and guy?
Well, Gene Kelly and Donald O'Connor would protest.
Who?
Make'em Laugh? Singing in the Rain?
[looks confused] Sorry.
1952? Nothing? Okay, maybe you are straight.
You can't do this to him.
You're overreacting.
If he sings with you, you're painting a bull's eye on his back.
Once again your closeted homophobia seeps in the surface on the contents of a cracked cesspool.
Don't give me that. I know I shouldn't have used that word in your basement but it's not like you were innocent. I really like you Kurt. But the fact of the matter is, the way you were all over me last year - if I did that to a girl, she'd take out a restraining order.
You have issues with me being gay, I get it.
No, actually, I don't. I have issues with the fact that you don't understand that no means no.
I just want to sing with him.
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