And the ornaments?
The man who lives next door finally killed off his elderly mother and when the police came they left the whole place like wide open. I think she was a holiday hoarder.
“A Very Glee Christmas” · Season 2, Episode 10
In this episode: Rachel Berry (8), Brittany Pierce (8), Will Schuester (8), Sue Sylvester (6), Artie Abrams (6), Quinn Fabray (5), Mercedes Jones (5), Lauren (5)
We won Sectionals two years in a row and according to everyone at this school, we still suck.
Flashback
MTMike, Tina and Mercedes
(walking and talking in the hallway)
(Karofsky, Azimo and another football player are walking towards them with slushies in their hands. They splash the slushies at Mike, Tina and Mercedes.)
AAzimo
Ho, ho, ho losers! HA HA!
Flashback ends
I'm pretty sure they just added food coloring to real slush in the parking lot.
You can eat that you know.
I can't believe that teacher let those students speak to us like that.
PPuck
I can't believe she threw a shoe at us.
Pretty soon no one will bully us. Santa Claus can do anything and this year I asked for the Glee club to stop getting picked on.
She's kidding, right?
Guys, this is serious. Listen up.
(Everyone gathers around Artie.)
Brittany still believes in Santa Claus.
(holds in a laugh) You cannot be serious.
Last week, Brittany believed a comb had magic powers. This is kind of a pattern.
She's gonna find out sooner or later.
(looking at Finn)
(decorating the tree)
Do you mind, um, meeting me at the auditorium tomorrow at four?
Sure.
Someone's gotta break the news to her.
PPuck
Uh uh. Not me. I mean I'm cruel and all but that's just hardcore.
That's my point. Hear me out. Remember how excited you get when you would think about Santa Claus? How awesome it was? Christmas was the highlight of the year. Why wouldn't you want to keep someone's world magical for a little longer?
How?
I got it all figured out.
(Everyone looks at Brittany)
(hanging stockings by the piano)
(writing present ideas for Sue) 1) Dog Robot 2) A soul
Who's that? Someone special?
Just a friend. But on the upside, I'm in love with him and he's actually gay. I call that progress.
How you doing?
Classes are harder, but the kids are kinder. But I miss you guys a lot though. So, what brings you here? Are you looking for teaching at a place where pencils aren't primarily used as weapons?
(to Kurt) I need you to sing with me, well rehearse with me. I got a gig singing Baby it's Cold Outside in the the King's Island Christmas Spectacular.
Ah a personal favorite! Too bad they'd never let us sing it together... I mean as two artists.
For the record, you are much better than that girl's gonna be.
Go Mercedes, go Mercedes, go! (smiles)
(sitting on Santa's lap) I've been a very good girl, Santa. I want a pony and a dolly that laughs and cries and...one of us smells like McDonald's.
(sitting on Santa's lap) I want Puckerman to love me. He's a fox. And I want sweet potato fries.
(sitting on Santa's lap) I want bling. I can't be more specific than that. Okay hold up. Don't tell that's a roll of Certs in your pocket. (gets off)
(nodding)
(sitting on Santa's lap) Do you have anything for stretch marks?
(sitting on Santa's lap) Chapstick. Lots of Chapstick.
(sitting on Santa's lap) I want Channing Tatum to stop being in stuff.
(sitting on Santa's lap) When does Asian Santa arrive?
EElf Lady
Next.
(to Elf Lady) Just know, you have rights.
SSanta
Ho, ho, ho.
(sits on Santa's lap)
SSanta
What's your name?
Brittany. You've gotten really tan.
SSanta
That's because in the North Pole there is a hole in the ozone.
(laughs) You're amazing. I know you're really busy so I only want one thing for Christmas. (points to Artie) Do you see my boyfriend over there?
(waves)
Brittany': For Christmas, I want him to be able to walk. You can do that, can't you Santa?
(frowns)
SSanta
(turns to Artie)
(shakes his head no)
SSanta
Um...sure. I'm on it.
Thank you Santa.
Now we're screwed.
(hugs Santa)
I'm going to stop you right there! Why are you wearing that hat?
Because it's Christmas, and it's fun.
No, it's offensive. You're wearing a Santa Claus hat, and yet you're not handing me any gifts. I need gifts.
You want my hat?
It's a start.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Glee pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.