Will Schuester quotes from Glee

Will

[turns around and sees everyone as little kids] Okay, I definitely have a fever.

Looking good Puckerman. Someone's been eating their Wheaties.

[kisses his muscles] These guns are fully loaded.

Young Rachel

Mr Schue? I for one think we should use our set list for Sectionals to explore the ouevre of one Bernadette Peters.

Young Brittany

Someday, I'm going to Paris to visit the Oeuvre.

Young Mike

I just want to dance.

Young Mercedes

Mr. Schuester? You look a little green.

Mr. Schue, I want to do that new Cee Lo song Forget You.

Will

No. Come on, guys! There has to be a Journey song we haven't done yet!

Will

Now, when I'm sick there's only one thing that makes me feel better

Artie

[Nodding] Gin and Juice

Will

No, Singin' in the Rain.

Will

I thought we were friends.

Sue

Yeah, that got boring.

You have to admit no matter how toxic our marriage was I was really good at taking care of you when you were sick.

Will

That's because you like me best when I'm weak.

Kurt

It's the fear that's the worst. I never know when it's coming. I can't concentrate. I don't feel like I'm part of the school. I feel like I'm in a horror movie where this creature follows me around terrifying me and there's nothing I can do about it? You don't know what's going on in this kid's head. You don't know what he's capable of.

Will

What does that mean?

Kurt

Nothing. Maybe I'm overreacting.

Sue

Lady, if this kid lays a finger on you, I will expel him faster than a Thai take-out place can read back your order. Okay? But until that happens, I'm genuinely sorry to say this, there's nothing legally I or the school board can do.

Will

Come on Kurt. We're gonna be late for rehearsal.

Kurt

[Gets his bag and begins to leave but stops and turns to Sue] You know when you call me lady, that's bullying. And it's really hurtful.

Sue

I'm sorry, I thought that was your name. As an apology I'll allow you to choose from the following nicknames: Gelfling, Porcelain, or Tickle Me Doughface.

Kurt

I guess I'll go with Porcelain.

Sue

Damn, totally wanted Tickle Me Doughface.

Will

And now, I'd like to introduce one of the best men: Finn Hudson.

Finn

[Takes a glass from the waiter] Oh, thanks. Hi. Uh, thank you. Best man. Right. Well, I wanna propose a toast to my mom, who is so awesome. I mean, somehow even without one in the house, you've taught me what it means to be a man. [Carole tears up] In Glee club, whenever two of us get together, we got a nickname. Rachel and I are Finchel. [Rachel smiles] Rachel and Puck were Puckleberry. [Rachel scowls] And today, a new union was formed: Furt [Kurt looks surprised, the gleeks laugh. To Kurt] You and me, man. We're brothers from another mother. And quite frankly, no one else has shown me as much as you about what it means to be a man. And over the past few weeks, uh, some stuff's gone down. And I haven't manned up like I should've. From now on, no matter what it costs me, I got your back. Okay? Even if it means getting a slushie in the face every now and then. [The gleeks chuckle] You put this entire wedding together by yourself, Kurt. So, as a thank-you I had the Glee Club put together a little number in your honor. [To Kurt] You're gonna dance it with me dude.

Will

And the ornaments?

Santana

The man who lives next door finally killed off his elderly mother and when the police came they left the whole place like wide open. I think she was a holiday hoarder.

Will

Who's that? Someone special?

Kurt

Just a friend. But on the upside, I'm in love with him and he's actually gay. I call that progress.

Will

How you doing?

Kurt

Classes are harder, but the kids are kinder. But I miss you guys a lot though. So, what brings you here? Are you looking for teaching at a place where pencils aren't primarily used as weapons?

Will

You can't do that.

Santana

It's okay. Most of this isn't mine anyway.

Finn

So how much did we raise?

$210 bucks and that's after my cut.

Finn

(frowns)

I'm kidding.

Rachel

Now that you're divorced and Ms. Pillsbury married another guy, I guess you'll be spending Christmas alone.

Will

Yes Rachel, I am.

Rachel

Well I know how painful being alone can be so if you want you can come over to my house. We're going to eat Chinese food and watch the Main Event.

Will

Well thanks Rachel but I think I'm going to pass. Nothing wrong with being alone.

Will

(enters his home and takes off his scarf and coat and grabs something from his fridge then enters his living room)

Sue

Hey Will.

Will

(shocked) How--How did you get in here?

Sue

Oh, I had key made ages ago.

Will

(staring in astonishment)

Sue

Do you like your tree?

Will

Uh, it's-it's beautiful. What's going on? What's with all the presents?

Sue

Well you remember that old meanie who stole of those stuff in the choir room? Well she's sorry.

Will

Really? Well what made her change her mind?

Sue

I don't know. Call it a Christmas miracle and we'll leave it at that. Now I know a lot of these gifts are for orphans or something but I got you something special. (gives Will a present) It's okay. It's not going to explode.

Will

(takes the present, opens it and takes out a razor)

Sue

I thought you'd like to put us all out of our misery and shave off that Chia Pet.

Will

(smiles) Thanks, Sue. The tree really does look great.

Sue

Well Santa had some helpers. (blows her whistle)

Will

I thought you hated the holidays.

Sue

Nah, I just hate you.

Will

Merry Christmas, Sue.

Sue

Merry Christmas, Will.

Will

Do you trust me?

You're not gonna try and kiss me again, are you?

Will

All right. New Directions, let's give a warm welcome to the newest members of Glee Club.

Mercedes

Oh, hell to the no, Mr. Schue. Are you serious?

Will

Hey, hey. Come on.

Hey.

Finn

Mr. Schue, are you serious? These are the guys that made Kurt transfer.

Rachel

And there's no way that I am sharing the choir room with a known homophobe.