Terri Schuester quotes from Glee

[handing Quinn pregnancy supplements] Take three times a day, or your baby will be ugly.

Will

Hey, how come you haven't had any morning sickness? Quinn Fabray's been upchucking every fifteen minutes.

Really? That's a really good sign! That means the baby's not a mongoloid!

Will

Um, is-is everything okay, Terri? - You-You never visit me at work.

Oh, I'm not visiting. No. You've been so stressed about our finances lately that I thought I would pitch in by getting a second job. I'm the new school nurse.

Will

But you're not a nurse. You don't have any training.

Oh please, Will. It's a public school.

Quinn

I need to talk to you about the baby.

Is everything okay? Wait, you're not having it right now, are you?

Quinn

What!? No! Aren't you supposed to be a nurse?

Mmmhmm!

Will

You being here is not good for our marriage.

Spending time together is not good for our marriage?

Will

Not every minute! We used to come home every night and talk about our day. Now we have nothing to say to each other.

...A lot of ants on the sidewalk today.

Will

...Pretty late in the season for that.

Will

[Answering phone] Hello?

Who is it? Who died?

Will

Suzy Pepper?

You knew it was me just by the sound of my breath…that is so romantic.

[Taking phone from Will] Listen here, you little psycho. This is Will's wife, and if I don't get enough sleep, my antidepressants won't work, and then I'll go crazy, and I'll kill you! Stop calling.

I have compulsive need to crush other people's dreams.

Finn

Yeah, that's what Mr. Schue said.

Holly

I'm Holly Holliday.

Are you a porn star or a drag queen?

You have to admit no matter how toxic our marriage was I was really good at taking care of you when you were sick.

Will

That's because you like me best when I'm weak.