Will Schuester quotes from Glee

Will

Today, I want to talk to you about regrets. Who has some?

Rachel

Giving my heart to Jesse, just to have it crushed like the stage floor at a performance of Stomp.

Quinn

Thinking 'trust me' was a sensible birth control option.

Jacob

Will Schuester, how do you respond to a recent post on my blog saying your glee club song selection sound like they come from a drag queen's iPod?

Will

Well, I try to do something for everybody. 25% show tunes, 25% hip-hop, 25% classic rock.

Jacob

100% gay.

Jacob

Did you know there's a forum on my blog that's begging you to stop rapping?

Will

Wait, th-the kids don't like it when I rap?

Brittany

Stop the violence.

Will

Hey! Hey! Hey! [holding Quinn and Santana apart] What is this? What happened to being a family?

Santana

Oh, please! She has a family! She's a mother!

Quinn

[Will holds her back] Walk away and tight up your pony before you get to class!

Will

All right, who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?

Brittany

He discovered America.

Brittany

I don't want to do Britney.

Kurt

Why no Britney, Brittany?

Brittany

Because my name is also Britney Spears.

Will

Wait, what?

Mercedes

What the hell is she talking about?

Brittany

My middle name is Susan. My last name is Pierce, which makes me Brittany S. Pierce. Brittany Spierce.

Kurt

Geesh! Let loose will ya! STOP BEING SO FREAKIN' UPTIGHT ALL THE TIME!!!!

Will

Kurt, I will see you in the principal's office.

Emma

You're such a great teacher, Will. No, probably the best in the whole school. So why would you want to be someone else when the someone you already are is so amazing?

Will

Because the boring someone I already am, wasn't good enough for you.

Will

Kurt, I'm done talking about this!

Kurt

Geesh! Loose a little, would you? STOP BEING SO FREAKIN' UPTIGHT ALL THE TIME!!!!

Will

Kurt, I'll see you in the principal's office.

Mercedes

Uh-oh.

Santana

I hope you're happy, Kurt.

Kurt

Having the week of my life, actually.

Will

Guys, back off Kurt, okay? He had every right to speak his mind.

Mercedes

Look, Kurt, we're sympathetic to what you're going through but siding with Miss Sylvester isn't gonna do anyone any good.

Kurt

It's doing me some good. Now I don't have to sit around listening to all you mental patients talk about how's there's a God when I know there isn't one.

Will

Sam, I'd like you to play the role of the Creature.

Sam

[confused] From the Black Lagoon?

Quinn

Rocky. He's like the Frankenstein character, but blond. You'll kill the part. He's cute....just like you.

Will

And action! [Music starts and the elevator starts going down]

Rachel

[walking backwards to the elevator with Finn] Oh Brad, let's get out of here! I'm cold, I'm wet and I'm just plain scared!

Finn

Well I'm here. There's nothing to worry about.

Mercedes

[turns around and opens the elevator door]

Rachel

[turns to Mercedes] Ahhh! [faints]

Will

First, the acapella choir from the all-boys private school in Westerville, the Dalton Academy Warblers.

Santana

Okay, hold up. Like, a million awesome gay jokes just popped into my head.

Will

All right guys, let's get down to business. First, let's welcome back Noah Puckerman. [to Puck] Puck, I hope your time in juvie has taught you a lesson or two about right and wrong.

Are you kidding me? I ruled that place. All I did was crack skulls and lift weights all day.

Quinn

Wow, what a catch. I can't believe I ever let you go.

Will

Is there anything that I could do?

Kurt

No. This is my hill to climb alone.

Will

Can I be honest? I think it's getting to you. Usually this stuff rolls right off your back. But lately you've been belligerent, angry, pushing people away.

Kurt

Can I be honest with you? You, like everyone else at this school, are too quick to let homophobia slide. And your lessons plans are boring and repetitive. Boys versus girls? That doesn't challenging any of us.

Will

You mean because I didn't let you join the girls like you wanted.

Kurt

To answer your question, yes, I'm unhappy. And yes, being the only out gay kid at this school gets me down. But most of all, I'm not challenged in the least here.