“The Substitute” · Season 2, Episode 7
In this episode: Kurt Hummel (8), Holly (7), Rachel Berry (5), Will Schuester (5), Puck (5), Mercedes Jones (4), Santana Lopez (3), Brittany Pierce (3)
[turns around and sees everyone as little kids] Okay, I definitely have a fever.
Looking good Puckerman. Someone's been eating their Wheaties.
[kisses his muscles] These guns are fully loaded.
Mr Schue? I for one think we should use our set list for Sectionals to explore the ouevre of one Bernadette Peters.
Someday, I'm going to Paris to visit the Oeuvre.
I just want to dance.
Mr. Schuester? You look a little green.
I'm shaking and it's either from low blood sugar or rage. It was only a matter of time before Rachel tried to take over Glee club.
[Flashback]
[Writes "Me" on the board] Class, in Mr. Schuester's absence I'd like to go around and ask everyone what songs you want me to perform at Sectionals.
You know what? Let me at her! Tu eres loca!
[Everyone starts holding Santana back.]
[screams]
[Flashback ends.]
You'll forget all about it at bowling.
I can't. Blaine asked me to hang out.
You smell homeless, Brett. Homeless.
Did I just hear something about a substitute? [slips and falls]
Yes! It works!
[gets up and fixes herself] Well, at least I didn't fall and break my talent. I'm fine.
[Artie, Tina and Mercedes laugh.]
[walks in the choir room and slides the buttered floor]
Oh what the hell?
Hola classe. Nothing says buenos días like a buttered floor.
[walks in and slips]
I'm Finn Hudson, the goofy Quarterback,
I'm Rachel Berry, his loud-mouth girlfriend.
I'm Mike Chang.
[nods]
Ms. Holiday's right. Mr. Schuester's set list sometimes makes it seem like he hasn't listened to the radio since the 80s.
[Flashback]
Mr. Schue, I want to do that new Cee Lo song Forget You.
No. Come on, guys! There has to be a Journey song we haven't done yet!
[Flashback ends]
[about Holly Holliday] Kinda hard not to like this woman.
On the count of three, name your favorite 2010 Vogue cover. 1...2...3!
[together] Marion Cotillard!
[gushes] Oh my god, stop it!
I know, I know. She's AMAZING!
She's amazing!
[In Mercedes's head]
Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay...
Gay, gay...
Oh my god, I opened my mouth and a little purse fell out! How'd that get there?
That's so gay!
That's not what I'm talking about. [writes something on a board, stands on her chair and holds the board up that says "Tots"]
[Teenagers in the lunchroom see the sign and stand up.]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Glee pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
