Finn Hudson quotes from Glee

Burt

What the hell was that?

Kurt

It's nothing, Dad.

Burt

That wasn't nothing. That guy was making fun of you. What the hell's his name?

Finn

Tell him.

Burt

Tell me what?

Finn

Tell him, or I will.

Kurt

His name's Dave Karofsky. He's been harassing me for a few weeks now.

Burt

Harassing you how?

Kurt

Just shoving me and giving me a hard time.

Burt

There's more. There's something else you're not telling me.

Kurt

He threatened to kill me.

Finn

Never learned to tie a tie.

Santana

Sit down, Frankenteen. You know you're losing it. Sam's clearly the new glee favorite, he's going to be starting quarterback...

Finn

What's your point?

Santana

You need a coolness injection. Y'know if you were honest and told people we did it last year, you would go from uncool to Chilly Willy.

Finn

Maybe. But I can't do that.

Rachel

Wait.

Finn

What?

Rachel

I have to tell you something... I never had sex with Jesse. I-I lied... to make you jealous. But this is good, because now neither of us have done it, we can save it, for each other.

Finn

Awesome.

Finn

If she found out, she'd break up with me.

Santana

And that would be bad because?

Finn

Because I'm in love with her and I don't wanna hurt her feelings.

Santana

Don't you see that that midget is like an anchor dragging you down to the depths of Loserville?

Finn

Stop it, Santana, that's my girlfriend! I think you should leave.

Santana

[Gets up] Okay. Well, maybe I'll tell her. I mean, if you two broke up, we'd be free to see each other, right?

Rachel

[Walks in] Hey. What are you guys doing?

Santana

Nothing. I was just leaving.

Rachel

Aren't you going to tell me how pretty I look?

Finn

You look amazing.

Rachel

What?

Finn

I... I just really love you.

Rachel

I love you, too.

Will

And now, I'd like to introduce one of the best men: Finn Hudson.

Finn

[Takes a glass from the waiter] Oh, thanks. Hi. Uh, thank you. Best man. Right. Well, I wanna propose a toast to my mom, who is so awesome. I mean, somehow even without one in the house, you've taught me what it means to be a man. [Carole tears up] In Glee club, whenever two of us get together, we got a nickname. Rachel and I are Finchel. [Rachel smiles] Rachel and Puck were Puckleberry. [Rachel scowls] And today, a new union was formed: Furt [Kurt looks surprised, the gleeks laugh. To Kurt] You and me, man. We're brothers from another mother. And quite frankly, no one else has shown me as much as you about what it means to be a man. And over the past few weeks, uh, some stuff's gone down. And I haven't manned up like I should've. From now on, no matter what it costs me, I got your back. Okay? Even if it means getting a slushie in the face every now and then. [The gleeks chuckle] You put this entire wedding together by yourself, Kurt. So, as a thank-you I had the Glee Club put together a little number in your honor. [To Kurt] You're gonna dance it with me dude.

Finn

What the hell, dude? How about you talk with me about this first?

Kurt

I'm sorry Finn, but there's nothing to talk about. Karofsky's coming back tomorrow, so that means I won't be.

Sam

We can protect you.

Seriously. We can form a perimeter around you, like the Secret Service.

Finn

Yeah.

Kurt

The only thing that can really protect me is what they have at Dalton: a zero-tolerance no bullying policy.

Finn

Are we a part of something special? You and me?

Rachel

Yes.

Artie

Brittany still believes in Santa Claus.

Mercedes

(holds in a laugh) You cannot be serious.

Sam

Last week, Brittany believed a comb had magic powers. This is kind of a pattern.

Quinn

She's gonna find out sooner or later.

Rachel

(looking at Finn)

Finn

(decorating the tree)

Rachel

Do you mind, um, meeting me at the auditorium tomorrow at four?

Finn

Sure.

Lauren

Someone's gotta break the news to her.

Uh uh. Not me. I mean I'm cruel and all but that's just hardcore.

Artie

That's my point. Hear me out. Remember how excited you get when you would think about Santa Claus? How awesome it was? Christmas was the highlight of the year. Why wouldn't you want to keep someone's world magical for a little longer?

Mike

How?

Artie

I got it all figured out.

Finn

So how much did we raise?

$210 bucks and that's after my cut.

Finn

(frowns)

I'm kidding.

Rachel

Now that you're divorced and Ms. Pillsbury married another guy, I guess you'll be spending Christmas alone.

Will

Yes Rachel, I am.

Rachel

Well I know how painful being alone can be so if you want you can come over to my house. We're going to eat Chinese food and watch the Main Event.

Will

Well thanks Rachel but I think I'm going to pass. Nothing wrong with being alone.

Artie

[wheels into the choir room covered in slushie] It was awful.

Finn

[furious] That's it! Screw rehearsal! This ends here and now!

Will

All right. New Directions, let's give a warm welcome to the newest members of Glee Club.

Mercedes

Oh, hell to the no, Mr. Schue. Are you serious?

Will

Hey, hey. Come on.

Hey.

Finn

Mr. Schue, are you serious? These are the guys that made Kurt transfer.

Rachel

And there's no way that I am sharing the choir room with a known homophobe.

So this is what the ladies lounge looks like on the inside

Sam

This is the choir room. Now put up your hands cause you and I are gonna do some dancing.

Finn

No, I got this, Sam.

Finn

And just like a famous athlete I want to give to a charity. You guys. So I'm setting up a kissing booth for a dollar a smooch and donating the proceeds to glee club to help us-

Mercedes

Don't even act like you want to help this glee club out. You just want to kiss a bunch of girls.

Santana

I've kissed him, and can I just say? Not worth the buck. I would, however, pay a hundred dollars to jiggle one of his man boobs.

Finn

Do you ever get tired tearing other people down?

Santana

No, not really.

Finn

'Cause you always seemed to be meddling in everyone else's business.

Santana

Oh please. You guys love me. I keep it real and I'm hilarious.

Lauren

Actually, you're just a bitch.

Brittany

That's my man and his legs don't work!

Finn

Tenderoni!

Tina

I'm so in love I may just start crying. [kisses Mike]

Tina

[piggy back rides Mike and nibbling his ear]

Mike

[laughing]

Santana

[voiceover] How is this possible? I'm the hottest piece of action in this school, and here I am, on Valentine's and single. Whatever. I'll just marry an NFL player. They're super reliable.

Quinn

[smirking at Finn]

Finn

[smiling back at Quinn]

Santana

Wait, that's weird. Quinn has that queen bitch smirk on her face and Finn only has that gassy infant look when he feels guilty about something. [gasps] Holy sweet hell. They're fooling around! I know what cheating looks like! I do it all the time. [chuckles]