PPuck
[on Lauren] Maybe it's because she's constantly insulting me like my mom.
“Silly Love Songs” · Season 2, Episode 12
In this episode: Santana Lopez (9), Finn Hudson (7), Quinn Fabray (5), Kurt Hummel (4), Will Schuester (4), Tina Cohen-Chang (4), Blaine Anderson (4), Lauren (4)
Stare at me again and I'll break your nuts.
BBarista
What can I get you?
A Medium Drip, and a Grande Non-Fat Mocha for this guy, and maybe I can get him to split one of the Cupid cookies.
You know my coffee order?
Of course I do.
BBarista
That'll be $8.40.
[Kurt and Blaine both start to pull out their wallets]
Don't even bother dummy, it's on me.
[Blaine walks away after paying]
[to barista] I do believe I have a new favorite holiday. [laughs]
Okay guys, I've got one word for you.
Is it love? I'm totally going to graduate now!
And just like a famous athlete I want to give to a charity. You guys. So I'm setting up a kissing booth for a dollar a smooch and donating the proceeds to glee club to help us-
Don't even act like you want to help this glee club out. You just want to kiss a bunch of girls.
I've kissed him, and can I just say? Not worth the buck. I would, however, pay a hundred dollars to jiggle one of his man boobs.
Do you ever get tired tearing other people down?
No, not really.
'Cause you always seemed to be meddling in everyone else's business.
Oh please. You guys love me. I keep it real and I'm hilarious.
Actually, you're just a bitch.
[Everyone laughs and gasps in shock.]
[turns to Lauren] Whoa! Okay, I'm sorry. You just got eyes for my man.
PPuck
Okay, first of all, I'm not your man.
And Finn is right. All you ever do is insult us. Three weeks ago, you said you were disappointed that I didn't have a lizard baby.
Five minutes ago, you said Mr. Schue belonged into a twelve step program.
Wait, what?
You're addicted to vests.
The truth is, Santana, you can dish it out but you can't take it. Okay maybe you're right. Maybe I'm destined to play the title role in the Broadway musical of Willow, but the only job you're gonna have is working on a pole.
[Everyone gasps.]
Fine. [gets up and leaves]
Santana.
[comforting Santana] Maybe try rocking back and forth. People do that in movies.
[crying] No 'cause I just try to be really, really honest with people but I think that they suck, you know?
Yeah.
No one gets it.
Brush and floss time. Gotta keep up the oral hygiene if I'm gonna satisfy all of you.
If he and I got married, the Gap would give me a 50 percent discount.
JJeremiah
No one here knows I'm gay.
Can I be honest? Just with the hair, I think they do.
JJeremiah
Blaine, let's just be clear here. You and I got coffee twice, we're not dating. If we were I'd get arrested, considering your age.
I spell woman Z-I-Z-E-S.
I'm pretty, but I ain't dumb.
That's my man and his legs don't work!
Tenderoni!
I'm so in love I may just start crying. [kisses Mike]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Glee pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.