Finn Hudson quotes from Glee

Mercedes

I don't see what's wrong with getting a little church in here.

Quinn

I agree. I've had a really hard year, and I've turned to God a lot for help. I, for one, wouldn't mind saying thanks.

Santana

Thanks for what? That it didn't come out a lizard-baby?

Brittany

Whenever I pray, I fall asleep.

Finn

You got a problem with Jesus?

Oh, I got no problem with the guy. I'm a total Jew for Jesus. He's my number one Heb. What I don't like seeing is people using J-Money to cramp everyone else's style 'cause it seems to me that true spirituality or whatever you want to call it is about enjoying the life that you've been given. I mean, I see God every time I make out with a new chick.

Santana

Hey Kurt, we're really sorry about your dad's heart attack.

Brittany

I did a book report on heart attacks, if you want to give it to the doctor. I got knocked down an entire letter grade 'cause it was written in crayon.

Finn

[Entering] What the hell happened?

Kurt

My dad's in the hospital.

Finn

I know. My mom just called me. I feel I'm the last one to know.

Kurt

I'm sorry Finn, but it didn't occur to me to call you because he's not your father.

Finn

Yeah, well, he's the closest person I'm ever going to get, okay? I don't know what it looks like to everyone else, but I thought we were sort of family. Look, I guess I just didn't like overhearing other people talking about it in gym class.

Rachel

Let's discuss your new-found love for Jesus and how it's affecting me. I want this relationship to go the distance, but I need to know that when I'm 25 and I've won a bunch of Tonys and I'm ready to have intercourse and babies, that those babies will raised in a certain way...

Finn

You don't think you're gonna have sex until you're 25?

Rachel

Both of my dads' people were slaves once. I need to know that my children will be free to worship in the way that I decide is right.

Finn

Sure. Of course. Yeah, they should totally go to Jew church and wear those hats and eat that salty orange stuff with their bagels.

Emma

Uh, more importantly, you didn't hurt Sam. It was a 300-pound left tackle who just got expelled because he's on steroids and he's 23. God works in all kinds of mysterious ways, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't spend a lot of time trying to speak to us through sandwiches. You look disappointed.

Finn

I am. It was sort of cool feeling like I had this direct line to God. Now I just feel like everybody else, you know, like we're all just floating around in space. I don't like that.

Emma

You're not alone. The big questions are really big for a reason--they're hard. But you know what? Absolutely everyone struggles with them.

Finn

Dude, why didn't you just tell us you wanted to pray in Muslim?

I'm not Muslim, I'm Sikh.

Kurt

She's gonna see if acupuncture will improve the circulation to my dad's brain. Amazingly needles pierce the skin better than psalms.... Can you all please leave now?

Rachel

[leaving] We just wanted to do something.

Rachel

I'm only really generous if there's something in it for me.

Finn

Yeah. But I still like you.

Finn

You can't do this to him.

Kurt

You're overreacting.

Finn

If he sings with you, you're painting a bull's eye on his back.

Kurt

Once again your closeted homophobia seeps in the surface on the contents of a cracked cesspool.

Finn

Don't give me that. I know I shouldn't have used that word in your basement but it's not like you were innocent. I really like you Kurt. But the fact of the matter is, the way you were all over me last year - if I did that to a girl, she'd take out a restraining order.

Kurt

You have issues with me being gay, I get it.

Finn

No, actually, I don't. I have issues with the fact that you don't understand that no means no.

Kurt

I just want to sing with him.

Sam

I didn't realize you had a problem with gay dudes.

Finn

I don't have a problem with gay dudes. Everyone else does, and we're living in their world. And in their world, you singing a duet with Kurt is a death sentence.

Sam

Well, I gave him my word. In my world, that's that.

Finn

I don't know what's going in this script and it's not in a cool Inception way.

Rachel

Just try it, okay? Okay, so they take off our wet clothes and we do the rest of the scene in our underwear.

Finn

Wait, I'm in my tighty whities?

Rachel

Yeah.

Finn

I can't be on stage in front of the whole school in my tighty whities. They're gonna be able to see my whole business.

Will

And action! [Music starts and the elevator starts going down]

Rachel

[walking backwards to the elevator with Finn] Oh Brad, let's get out of here! I'm cold, I'm wet and I'm just plain scared!

Finn

Well I'm here. There's nothing to worry about.

Mercedes

[turns around and opens the elevator door]

Rachel

[turns to Mercedes] Ahhh! [faints]

Rachel

I'm sorry, what exactly did we do?

Finn

No, it's us, the boys.

Mike

And Tina.

Finn

Coach Beiste, we think you're awesome. And even though you're all hard and tough on the outside, it doesn't mean you're not the opposite on the inside.

Sam

Like a chocolate turtle.

Finn

Totally. You're nougaty.

Finn

Are you sure we should free 300 live doves indoors? Won't that get messy?

Kurt

That's why we feed them glitter.

Finn

Karofsky plays right guard. If he gets pissed at me, I'm gonna get sacked more times than Jay Cutler, which means we're gonna lose, which means Beiste is gonna make Sam quarterback.

Rachel

Is being quarterback more important to you than helping out the kid who's gonna be your stepbrother?

Finn

We both know I can help him more if I stay on top. Kurt's gonna be fine. Rachel, I'm sorry, I want to, but I can't.

Rachel

I've never been so disappointed in you before.

Santana

Where were you, Finn?

Finn

Still out on the field, okay? I totally would have given him a beat-down if I'd been there.

Mercedes

The fact is, it shouldn't have gone down without you, Finn. You should have been leading the charge.

Kurt

[softly] Lay off Finn, everyone. It isn't his problem. It's none of your problems, actually. But thank you for what you did. Especially Sam.