Rachel Berry quotes from Glee

Finn

Are we a part of something special? You and me?

Rachel

Yes.

Rachel

I can't believe that teacher let those students speak to us like that.

I can't believe she threw a shoe at us.

Artie

Brittany still believes in Santa Claus.

Mercedes

(holds in a laugh) You cannot be serious.

Sam

Last week, Brittany believed a comb had magic powers. This is kind of a pattern.

Quinn

She's gonna find out sooner or later.

Rachel

(looking at Finn)

Finn

(decorating the tree)

Rachel

Do you mind, um, meeting me at the auditorium tomorrow at four?

Finn

Sure.

Lauren

Someone's gotta break the news to her.

Uh uh. Not me. I mean I'm cruel and all but that's just hardcore.

Artie

That's my point. Hear me out. Remember how excited you get when you would think about Santa Claus? How awesome it was? Christmas was the highlight of the year. Why wouldn't you want to keep someone's world magical for a little longer?

Mike

How?

Artie

I got it all figured out.

Finn

So how much did we raise?

$210 bucks and that's after my cut.

Finn

(frowns)

I'm kidding.

Rachel

Now that you're divorced and Ms. Pillsbury married another guy, I guess you'll be spending Christmas alone.

Will

Yes Rachel, I am.

Rachel

Well I know how painful being alone can be so if you want you can come over to my house. We're going to eat Chinese food and watch the Main Event.

Will

Well thanks Rachel but I think I'm going to pass. Nothing wrong with being alone.

Sam

How the hell did you afford that thing?

Brittany

I didn't buy it. I didn't know what it was. I thought it was a Transformer.

Artie

(turns to Santana) I assumed her dad got it for me but he has no idea. He went to take a long poop and then it was there.

Rachel

So if no one knew who bought it for you then-

Brittany

Santa brought it.

Mercedes

Santa.

Artie

(nods) Santa.

Quinn

A real Christmas miracle.

(watching and smiling)

Rachel

No one should be alone on Christmas, Mr. Schuester.

Sue

Too much talking, lady. Come on, let's get some Christmas up here.

Will

All right. New Directions, let's give a warm welcome to the newest members of Glee Club.

Mercedes

Oh, hell to the no, Mr. Schue. Are you serious?

Will

Hey, hey. Come on.

Hey.

Finn

Mr. Schue, are you serious? These are the guys that made Kurt transfer.

Rachel

And there's no way that I am sharing the choir room with a known homophobe.

[to Rachel] You ready?

Rachel

[takes her mouth guard out of her mouth] Let's kick some ass!!

Santana

[turns to Lauren] Whoa! Okay, I'm sorry. You just got eyes for my man.

Okay, first of all, I'm not your man.

Quinn

And Finn is right. All you ever do is insult us. Three weeks ago, you said you were disappointed that I didn't have a lizard baby.

Tina

Five minutes ago, you said Mr. Schue belonged into a twelve step program.

Will

Wait, what?

Santana

You're addicted to vests.

Rachel

The truth is, Santana, you can dish it out but you can't take it. Okay maybe you're right. Maybe I'm destined to play the title role in the Broadway musical of Willow, but the only job you're gonna have is working on a pole.

Rachel

She's prettier than me.

Finn

Would you stop? You're beautiful.

Rachel

Why are my leg warmers on your arms?

Brittany

I got cold.

Finn

(after talking to Rachel about her confidence) You know, she may be making a comeback. (walks away)

Rachel

(smiles softly)

Finn

It's not emotional or good or...

Rachel

It sucks.

Finn

Yeah.

Rachel

I've never even had a drink.

Finn

Seriously? No wonder I never got past second base.

Rachel

[burps] It tastes like pink. It tastes like pink! PINK!

Kurt

[dancing and talking to Finn] Are you not drinking?

Finn

No. Designated driver. What about you?

Kurt

I'm still trying to impress Blaine. Can't get too sloppy. [looks at Blaine]

Blaine

[dancing crazily]

Kurt

Clearly he doesn't have the same concern.

Blaine

Hey, it is so cool that you and Kurt are brothers...Like brothers. Wow. You're so tall.

Kurt

Are you having fun, Blaine?

Blaine

Yeah. This is the best party ever!

Rachel

Finny, dance with me. [dances with Finn] We had it going on, right? I wasn't making it up or anything? I'd do anything for you. Anything.

Finn

[lets go of Rachel] Okay Rachel, since this is your first time at this, I'm going to break it down for you. [sits down with Rachel]

Rachel

Okay.

Finn

Guys and girls fall into certain archetypes when they get drunk. Exhibit A: Santana, the weepy, hysterical drunk.

Santana

[crying] You like her more than me! She's blond and awesome and so smart. Admit it! Just admit it!

Sam

[confused]

Santana

No kiss me! [kisses Sam]

Finn

Lauren Zizes and Quinn, the anger girl drunks.

Quinn

I can't believe what you did to my body! I used to have abs!

Back off!

Lauren

Who told you that hairstyle was cool? Geronimo?

Chill out!

Finn

Brittany, the girl who also turns into a stripper drunk.

Brittany

[dancing]

Artie

[throwing money into the air] Makin' it rain! [laughing] That's my girlfriend. I love you babe.

Finn

Mercedes and Tina, happy girl drunks.

[laughing hysterically]

Finn

And then we come around full circle right back to you, Rachel. And right now you're being the needy girl drunk. Hanging all over me, being overly lovey. It's not cool.

Rachel

[frowns and pats Finn's back] What-What kind of girl is this? [stands up] Let's play spin the bottle!