Kurt Hummel quotes from Glee

Kurt

I just realized we did the gay high five.

Rachel

[laughs] We did!

Kurt

Why don't you just run for student body president?

Brittany

I'm not smart enough.

Burt

Dude you're gay.

Kurt

Excuse me?

Burt

You're gay. And you're not like Rock Hudson gay, you're really gay. You sing like Dianna Ross and and you dress like you own a magic chocolate factory.

Brittany

The poster that you wanted gave me crippling depression.

Kurt

I wanted something toned down!

Santana

This is toned down. In the original, the unicorn was riding you.

Kurt

[turns to Santana and Brittany] AND STOP PUTTING UP THOSE POSTERS! [leaves]

Brittany

I failed my precious unicorn.

Santana

No! Look, this campaign is brilliant.

Brittany

Really?

Santana

Completely! If he doesn't get it then he doesn't deserve to have you as his campaign manager. There's no one like you. You're a genius, Brittany. You are the unicorn.

Blaine

[drunk] I just want to live here and-and make art and help people.

Kurt

You're helping people make fires with your breath!

Rachel

So about the whole pastie thing...

Kurt

Let's just skip ahead while we're ahead, dollie.

Kurt

I going to lose unless I pull a JFK.

Rachel

You're going to shoot Brittany?!

Kurt

I don't like you.

Sebastian

Fun. I don't like you either.

Kurt

I don't like the way you talk to my boyfriend, I don't like your smirky little meerkat face, I don't like your obnoxious CW hair. I'm on to you.

Sebastian

Let's get a few things straight, Blaine's too good for you, New Directions is a joke, and one of us has a hard luck case of the 'Gay Face' and it ain't me. Odds are by the end of the school year, i'll have Blaine and a Nationals trophy, and you'll have khakis and a Lima Bean apron and that gay face.

Kurt

You smell like Craigslist.

Kurt

Oh my God, she's good.

Rachel

Oh, this is torture. I should be singing that song!

Finn

Ugh, I'm freaking out! I have no idea what to get Rachel for Christmas!

Artie

When in doubt, go with socks!

Mike

A wok is always good!

Rory

What about soil?

Blaine

I agree with Artie about the socks.

See? This is why I don't have a high maintenance girlfriend. Or any girlfriend, for that matter.

Kurt

[putting on lotion and eavesdropping]

Finn

Who told you this? Kurt?

Rachel

No!

Kurt

[walking by] Yes.

Rachel

[gasps]

Finn

Hey guys, listen up. My friend Rory Flanagan wants to say a few.

Rory

Thanks Finn Hudson. So guys, my mommy was gonna come visit for the holidays, but planes tickets are expensive, so it's my first Christmas without any family. I'd like to cheer myself up by dedicating this song to them, and to the King.

Kurt

Jesus?

Rory

[weird look]

Blaine

[to Kurt] No.

Kurt

Hello. Well, I guess we're all in the spirit of the season by now. Let me apologize for not introducing myself sooner. I'm Kurt Hummel, one of your hosts this evening. Thank you. And this is my, um…best friend and holiday roommate, Blaine Anderson.

Blaine

How do you do? Welcome to our bachelor chalet.

Kurt

We've also asked a few of our other special friends to drop by. But I hope they can make it over the mountains and through the woods in this dreary weather.

Blaine

Oh, come on, now, Kurt. You know if they get stuck in the snow, they can always hitch a ride on Santa's sleigh.

Kurt

Oh, you!

Blaine

Hey, it's true.

Kurt

Oh! Oh, I'm terribly sorry for keeping you standing outside, shivering on the porch. Please, come in. Please, come in. Watch your step. Come on now. Don't be shy. Please, come, come.

Blaine

Come right on in. Make yourself at home.

Rachel

Oh my goodness! Could it be? Could it be?

Rory

[walks out ringing bell and wearing elf costume]

Itchy the Holiday Elf!

Kurt

We asked our friend Itchy to stop by and read us a light-hearted, heart-warming, upbeat Christmas tale: Frosty the Snowman.

Rory

Actually, I was going to read that, but I searched my heart, and I am going to read one from a different book. I think it's something that's going to remind people what the true spirit of Christmas really is.

Rachel

Are sure you don't wanna read Frosty? We all really wanna hear Frosty!