[to Rory] Huntzberger? Between the women and the drinking that kid was on the Colin Farrell freeway about to pull over onto the Robert Downey rest stop.
S7 E14Farewell, My Pet
[to Rory] Oh you broke him. You broke him hard. You can open the gate and he's not going to bolt. You can kick him with a spur and he's not going to spooke. You own him...Hey let's make them go out and get tattoos. It'll be like we branded them.
[singing] They called them the Diamond Dogs. Whoo hoo hoo. Bow wow.
We didn't need a song that necessarily had the dogs in the lyrics, right Michel?
Whatever. David Bowie sounds like a hoot.
More Princess Diana, less dog.
So you want Elton John?
We were thinking very dignified. Like Bach. Mozart.
Celine Dion.
Oh please...don't make me do that.
After all My Heart Will Go On was Chin-chin's favorite song.
Ah well then there you go. We'll just find uh My Heart...Belongs to Daddy...My heart belongs to me, My heart belongs to you, My heart can't make up it's mind.
How about Tears in heaven? That's a wicked song.
My heart is crying for you...My heart is waiting...My heart stood still...People very interested in this whole heart thing.
I Will Always Love You...I mean it's got the cheese factor but its still at least a legitimate...
S7 E15I'm a Kayak, Hear Me Roar
LLorelei
There's no such thing as a non-alcoholic cocktail.
There most certainly is, it's called a mock-tail. I can offer you a Shirley Temple or a Roy Rogers.
Or how about a Howdy Doody or a Captain Kangaroo... [takes a sip of the mock-tail] Oh, that's a strong one Mom, you know I'm driving.
Tastes great.
You know what else tastes great? Rum.
BBabbette
He's definitely moved out. Last time I saw the "beagle"s car in the driveway was days ago. Then I saw the movers truck. So only the "hen" lives there now.
PMiss Patti
So did the "hen" break up with the "beagle" or the "beagle" break up with the "hen"?
BBabbette
I don't know.
PMiss Patti
The poor "hen".
BBabbette
She's been through so much. I was kinda getting used to him...the "beagle".
BBabbette
He's not right for her. He's a "beagle" you know. And "beagles" belong with "beagles".
PMiss Patti
And the "hen" belongs with the "rooster".
BBabbette
Maybe.
PMiss Patti
Well, does the "rooster" know about the "hen" and the "beagle".
BBabbette
Oh yeah, Esther Tilly was in here yesterday, blabbing her big mouth off.
PMiss Patti
Oh, how did he take it. Did you see his face?
BBabbette
Oh yeah, but you know the "rooster", it's like looking at Stonehenge. I don't know what he thinks.
PMiss Patti
Oh, I hope he gets his act together because I think they're perfect.
BBabbette
I think the "hen" belongs with someone else. Like a "penguin" or an "ostrich".
I can no longer sit here listening to this.
PMiss Patti
Oh good. Go sit over there.
I'm sorry but I can't in good conscience let this perverse conversation continue. Are you insinuating that a hen could mate with an ostrich? Because even ignoring the question of biological feasibility, it's completely morally reprehensible...How do you expect her to lay those eggs!?!?
Would you like a drink?
Ooooh, I thought the house was dry.
Vodka or scotch?
It's a regular speakeasy.
It's like a canoe.
What's like a canoe?
Life. You're just paddling along in a canoe.
Mother have you been in a canoe? I just can't picture you in a canoe.
Lorelai, your father and I have been paddling a canoe together for years, only now, he's dropped it. He just dropped it. Not only that but now the canoe is going in circles. Without your father there I'm paddling and the canoe is going in circles, and the harder I paddle the faster the canoe spins and it's hard work and I'm getting tired.
Dizzy I would think.
You are in a kayak. You know how to do all of this.
How does that put me in a kayak?
Kayaks have paddles on both ends. You steer it by yourself.
You're independent. You provide for yourself.
I am kayak. Hear me roar.
S7 E16Will You Be My Lorelai Gilmore?
Yes but Mr. Nash, you are forgetting about the first pancake phenomenon.
Eh?
Yes the first pancake you know? You always throw it out...
Why do you throw out the first pancake?
Cause the griddles too hot it gets burned.
Oh my God. Next year no excuses. We are making you that audition tape for Top Chef.
Ooo. Angelina and Brad had their baby. Months and months ago!
Yea you're a little behind the times.
This is the problem with having two kids under the age of four. World events just pass you by. I cannot believe Britney is driving with her baby in her lap like that. What is she doing with that guy by the way.
You'll be glad to know they've since broken up. Although turns out he was kinda a stabilizing influence in her life, who knew?
You may have kids who want to study the Bible.
Trust me, my kids are not going to want to study the Bible.
You don't know what your kids are going to want. Do you think your mom thought she was going to get a kid who loved Jane's Addiction? You might get kids who are nuts for Exodus, crazy for Deuteronomy and then what? You want them hiding their Bibles under the floorboards?
[to Rory] You didn't hear about the fight? Me and my Mom. Classic Kim family grudgefest? If it weren't for your mom we might have gone the way of Pretty Girls Make Graves. They were so young but they had so many albums left in them. Here's the thing. My kids are going to need that too, you know when they're hiding Bibles and they can't stand me so what I wanted to know was. Would you be their Lorelai Gilmore?
God, I can't believe you bought a boat in a day. It used to take you a week to buy a t-shirt.
Yeah well, things change.
S7 E17Gilmore Girls Only
Well, I need for it to say more than that. I'm hoping to hear from the San Francisco Chronicle, the Seattle Times, the Detroit Free Press
Well, you can't ask one suit to say so much. You know, why don't you just get the suit that says something local? 'Cause you know those other cities are so far away, so expensive, so tiring. Plus you know you can get a great cup of coffee in New York. I don't know about those other cities. They have crappy crappy coffee.
Mmm hmm. Like Seattle?
And he's getting to be a serious pain in the "you know what".
The nose? The ear?
Would it give you that much pleasure to hear me say "ass"?
Well, I wasn't sure but, yes.
[Richard enters office in a blue tracksuit.]
Emily... Oh, hi, Lorelai.
Hi Dad. Nice threads. You having lunch with Tony Soprano?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gilmore Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.