Gilmore Girls · Season 7, Episode 15
“I'm a Kayak, Hear Me Roar” · Season 7, Episode 15
In this episode: Lorelai Gilmore (4), Emily Gilmore (4), Rory Gilmore (1), Kirk Gleason (1)
There's no such thing as a non-alcoholic cocktail.
There most certainly is, it's called a mock-tail. I can offer you a Shirley Temple or a Roy Rogers.
Or how about a Howdy Doody or a Captain Kangaroo... [takes a sip of the mock-tail] Oh, that's a strong one Mom, you know I'm driving.
Tastes great.
You know what else tastes great? Rum.
He's definitely moved out. Last time I saw the "beagle"s car in the driveway was days ago. Then I saw the movers truck. So only the "hen" lives there now.
So did the "hen" break up with the "beagle" or the "beagle" break up with the "hen"?
I don't know.
The poor "hen".
She's been through so much. I was kinda getting used to him...the "beagle".
He's not right for her. He's a "beagle" you know. And "beagles" belong with "beagles".
And the "hen" belongs with the "rooster".
Maybe.
Well, does the "rooster" know about the "hen" and the "beagle".
Oh yeah, Esther Tilly was in here yesterday, blabbing her big mouth off.
Oh, how did he take it. Did you see his face?
Oh yeah, but you know the "rooster", it's like looking at Stonehenge. I don't know what he thinks.
Oh, I hope he gets his act together because I think they're perfect.
I think the "hen" belongs with someone else. Like a "penguin" or an "ostrich".
I can no longer sit here listening to this.
Oh good. Go sit over there.
I'm sorry but I can't in good conscience let this perverse conversation continue. Are you insinuating that a hen could mate with an ostrich? Because even ignoring the question of biological feasibility, it's completely morally reprehensible...How do you expect her to lay those eggs!?!?
Would you like a drink?
Ooooh, I thought the house was dry.
Vodka or scotch?
It's a regular speakeasy.
It's like a canoe.
What's like a canoe?
Life. You're just paddling along in a canoe.
Mother have you been in a canoe? I just can't picture you in a canoe.
Lorelai, your father and I have been paddling a canoe together for years, only now, he's dropped it. He just dropped it. Not only that but now the canoe is going in circles. Without your father there I'm paddling and the canoe is going in circles, and the harder I paddle the faster the canoe spins and it's hard work and I'm getting tired.
Dizzy I would think.
You are in a kayak. You know how to do all of this.
How does that put me in a kayak?
Kayaks have paddles on both ends. You steer it by yourself.
You're independent. You provide for yourself.
I am kayak. Hear me roar.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gilmore Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
