Babette quotes from Gilmore Girls

Babette

Are you kidding me? Prana. Chi. Life force. Whatever you call it he's got it in spades. Sexy men like him often do. That's what makes him so sexy. They're ripe with life! He's like Warren Beatty your dad. Or Sean Connery. Or who's that one I always found so sexy with the glasses, the politician? Henry Kissinger!

Babette

I never thought a man would ever even want me.

Lorelai

I know the feeling.

Babette

Oh, please, with that ass? Gimme a break.

Taylor

Mhmm, just what I thought. This is not the proper permit for this kind of business. This is a type 24B otherwise known as a cart, kiosk, cart/kiosk permit. This is not valid for your business.

Why'd you say it twice?

Taylor

Hmm?

Babette

You said cart kiosk cart kiosk!

Lorelai

Its repetitive

Rory

And redundant

Lorelai

Its repetitive

Rory

And redundant!

Lorelai

We certainly are entertaining, Mac!

Rory

Indubitably, Tosh

Taylor

Moving on. Now people, I know it's an unpleasant subject, but the deer population in this town is reaching monstrous proportions.

Not this again.

Miss Patty

He's always going on about the deer.

Luke

Leave 'em alone, Taylor.

Taylor

But they're taking over the town. We need to institute partial elimination.

Partial elimination?

You wanna kill the little romping Bambis?

Taylor

People, do I have to detail the problems that these deer cause?

Luke

No, but you will.

Taylor

Lyme disease, auto accidents, plane accidents.

Luke

We have flying deer?

Miss Patty

Oh, that's scary.

Babette

Yeah. Those ones you can snuff.

Luke

What’s that, a toy?

Miss Patty

Oh, it’s awfully cute.

Taylor

That is a professionally manufactured diorama of the proposed business.

Rory

Wow, there’s little people and everything.

Sookie

They look so real.

Hey, it’s me holding a tiny zucchini!

Lorelai

Look at the horse drawn carriage.

Taylor

My thought was to park it out front with the name of the business painted on the side. It’s very eighteen-hundreds.

Babette

The horse is taller than the front door.

Lorelai

Way taller.

Luke

What are you up to, Taylor? Are you breeding giant horses?

Taylor

It’s slightly out of proportion.

Babette

Slightly? That little guy there could walk right under the horse without even ducking.

Babette

You get dumped on, Taylor?

Taylor

It's not just me.

Luke

If anybody has a picture of Taylor being dumped on. I'll pay top dollar.

Kirk

I'll check the Internet.

Miss Patty

Taylor, all animals have to… you know. How are you gonna stop birds from doing that?

Taylor

Easy. Put sharp metal spikes on the top of the fixtures, then when they land — pow! They're shish-kebabs.

Rory

That's cruel.

Babette

You can't do that.

I'd rather have bird crap fall on my head.

Lorelai

There it is — our new town slogan.

Rory

I like it.

Lorelai

I see coffee mugs, T-shirts.

Rory

Don't forget stuffed shish-kebabbed birds.

Lorelai

That moan when you squeeze 'em.

Babette

[about planting bulbs] Oh, and just you wait 'til spring. You're gonna wake up one morning, walk out, and pow - color coming out of your yin-yang! I'll see you girls tomorrow. [goes into her house]

Lorelai

I'm going to have color coming out of my yin-yang.

Rory

Then maybe you'll finally get a man.

Oh, the spontaneous proposals are the best, you know.

Babette

Yeah, Morey proposed to me spontaneously. Did I ever tell you the story?

Luke

Uh, no.

Babette

It was a brisk fall night, and Morey was on top. No, wait, I was on top.

Luke

What?

Babette

Hold on, Stoney Morrison was on top.

Luke

Babette!

Babette

We were playing Twister! Did I not mention that?

Luke

No.

Babette

[laughing] I probably should have.

Babette

I'm making a jungle.

Lorelai

A jungle?

Babette

Hey! Is that your inside phone?

Lorelai

Yeah, well, I'll call them back.

Babette

So anyway, I got this negligee with a kind of snake pattern...

Lorelai

Oh, this is heavy!

Lorelai

Hey.

Luke

Hey. (pause) Coffee?

Lorelai

Yes, please.

Luke

To stay or to go?

Lorelai

Uh...to stay!

Luke

Good! Okay. [reaches around to pour her a cup of coffee]

Lorelai!

Babette

Hi, doll!

It's so nice seeing you back in here.

Lorelai

Thanks.

Babette

It's been a long time. What, nine, ten months?

Lorelai

Yeah something like that.

Kirk

Actually, I can tell you exactly when Lorelai was in here last [pulls out a notebook] cause I marked it in my calendar. May 22, 2006. Stool available. Question mark. It's important to..

Luke

Enough Kirk. [hands Lorelai her coffee] Here you go.