“Those Are Strings, Pinocchio” · Season 3
In this episode: Rory Gilmore (4), Lorelai Gilmore (3), Luke Danes (2), Sookie St. James (1), Paris Geller (1), Taylor Doose (1), Babette (1), Jackson Melville (1)
Relax, I'm okay with you making valedictorian over me.
Oh, good, thanks.
Sure. I actually googled the personal histories of Ivy League valedictorians going back twenty-five years, and found some enlightening statistics. They don't necessarily do too well in later life, did you know that?
No.
Oh, yeah. A lot of business failures, crumbled marriages, suicides, obesity.
Okay.
A bunch died in car crashes, several did time, one suffocated when his cat fell asleep on his face.
Moving on. Now people, I know it's an unpleasant subject, but the deer population in this town is reaching monstrous proportions.
Not this again.
He's always going on about the deer.
Leave 'em alone, Taylor.
But they're taking over the town. We need to institute partial elimination.
Partial elimination?
You wanna kill the little romping Bambis?
People, do I have to detail the problems that these deer cause?
No, but you will.
Lyme disease, auto accidents, plane accidents.
We have flying deer?
Oh, that's scary.
Yeah. Those ones you can snuff.
[about Chilton] Wait, wait. Look around for a second. Notice?
Notice what?
It's not so scary anymore.
No, it's not.
What are we doing?
Leaving our mark. Got a knife?
A knife? For what?
For carving our initials. Come on. Knife, knife.
Sorry, I didn't put my switchblade in my sock.
Headmaster Charleston, faculty members, fellow students, family and friends, welcome. We never thought this day would come. We prayed for its quick delivery, crossed days off our calendars, counted hours, minutes and seconds and now that it's here, I'm sorry it is, because it means leaving friends who inspire me and teachers who've been my mentors, so many people who've shaped my life, and my fellow students lives impermeably and forever. I live in two worlds. One is a world of books. I've been a resident of Faulkner's Yoknapatawpha County, hunted the white whale aboard the Pequod, fought alongside Napoleon, sailed a raft with Huck and Jim, committed absurdities with Ignatius J. Reilly, rode a sad train with Anna Karenina and strolled down Swann's Way. It's a rewarding world, but my second one is by far superior. My second one is populated with characters slightly less eccentric, but supremely real, made of flesh and bone, full of love, who are my ultimate inspiration for everything. Richard and Emily Gilmore are kind, decent, unfailingly generous people. They are my twin pillars, without whom I could not stand. I am proud to be their grandchild. But my ultimate inspiration comes from my best friend, the dazzling woman from whom I received my name and my life's blood, Lorelai Gilmore...
[With tears in her eyes] Uh, oh -
[Also on the verge of crying] Hang in there.
My mother never gave me any idea that I couldn't do whatever I wanted to do or be whomever I wanted to be. She filled our house with love and fun and books and music unflagging in her efforts to give me role models from Jane Austen to Eudora Welty to Patti Smith. As she guided me through these incredible eighteen years, I don't know if she ever realized that the person I most wanted to be was her...
[Choked up] Not crying.
[Slightly crying] Crying a little.
Crying a little, but not blubbering. That's what we meant when we said no crying. No blubbering.
[Tearfully] Thank you Mom, you are my guidepost for everything.
On the verge of blubbering here.
[Choked up, tearfully] Not doing too well myself.
[Looks over to see Luke] Not you, too.
[Tearfully blubbering] I'm blubbering, you freaks!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gilmore Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
