Rory Gilmore quotes from Gilmore Girls

Rory

Well just tell them real quick. Like ripping a band-aid off.

Lorelai

Ripping a band-aid off that's been super glued, stapled, and surgically imbedded in my arm.

Rory

Just tell them and we can move on. We can talk about more pleasant things like the Middle East.

Rory

Are you enjoying your breakfast?

Lorelai

I don't know if I like pop-tarts.

Rory

Did you fall on your head while you were sleeping?

Lorelai

I don't know. Do I like this? Is this something that I like?

Rory

So you fell on your head and now you have some kind of very specific amnesia is that it?

Lorelai

What if I don't wanna do what I wanna do because I wanna do it, but because they don't want me to?

Rory

Huh?

Lorelai

I mean what if I don't like what I like because I like it but because my mother doesn't like it. And doesn't want me to like it.

Lorelai

Did he talk about my sparkling eyes and my glossy raven hair?

Rory

Look I'm not going to pass notes between you guys.

Lorelai

What if Emily Post says that's part of the appropriate protocol?

Rory

If you can get it in writing from the ghost of Emily Post, then I will pass as many notes as you want....I just want you to be careful.

Lorelai

Is this the sex talk? Because even if the ghost of Emily Post says it's OK. It is just plain weird.

Rory

And did you hear what she called us? 'Adorable.' She called us an 'adorable' couple.

Logan

Wait she said that out loud?

Rory

Yes. 'Adorable.'

Logan

Wow, you want me to go back there and kick her ass?

Rory

'Adorable is what you say about a Full House re-run. Its not what you say about something that lasts. The Great Wall of China, the Pyramids...no one called them 'adorable.'

Lorelai

[on the phone] Hello.

Rory

Hey, What’s going on?

Lorelai

Well, Stars Hollow smells like pickles.

Rory

Pickles?

Lorelai

Pickles.

Rory

Pickles pickles?

Lorelai

Pickles.

Rory

Why?

Lorelai

Because a pickle train crashed.

Rory

Is this a joke? A long boring joke that I’m not going to get?

Lorelai

No it's no joke, the town smells like pickles because the pickle train was derailed.

Rory

A train full of pickles, who knew there was such a thing?

Rory

Pickle train conductors, for one. Sounds so fun. I would have been the greatest pickle train conductor. Can you see me, “All aboard you pickles.”

Rory

Clearly you missed your calling.

Lorelai

Well luckily there’s you. You're young, you’re clever, you’re our great pickle train conducting hope.

Rory

I can’t believe I’m missing this.

Lorelai

Well you can celebrate next year on the anniversary. Now what’s going on with you?

Rory

Well, I can’t make it to Friday night dinner tonight, but I have a very good excuse.

Lorelai

Pickle Train Conducting Seminar?

Rory

Logan’s in town.

Lorelai

No way!

Rory

Yeah he showed up last night. It was a total surprise.

Lorelai

I can’t believe you let me go on and on about pickle train conducting when you had actual news.

Rory

You had news, Stars Hollow smells like pickles. I can completely see that scrolling along the CNN crawl.

Lorelai

Logan in town is totally pre-pickle news. How long is he here for?

Rory

6 and ½ more hours. He flew in yesterday, bought a company, and he’s flying back out tonight.

Lorelai

Oh my God, what are you guys going to do with your precious remaining hours? Or don’t I want to know.

Rory

Mom.

Lorelai

Well, you might be farming rutabagas or something, and I wouldn’t want to know because...boring.

Rory

Well, tonight I’m meeting him in Manhattan to celebrate.

Lorelai

Fancy restaurant?

Rory

Rutabaga farm, actually. Oh, but I'm sorry about dinner. I didn’t mean to abandon you in your time of need.

Lorelai

No worries. I’m not going to be totally defenseless; I’m bringing your dad.

Rory

Really? Wow!

Lorelai

Yeah! I thought it was time he meet the parents.

Rory

OK, that is pre-pickle news, my friend.

Lorelai

Aww, this conversation has been a disaster hasn’t it?

Rory

Yes it has.

Lorelai

Alright. Brring Brring. Hi Rory, how are you?

Rory

Hi, Mom. Logan’s in town.

Lorelai

Oh my goodness, that's wonderful.

Rory

We're farming rutabagas.

Lorelai

Oh! You're a filthy child. I will disown you. Bringing your father to dinner. Pickles, Pickles, Pickles, smell, pickle train conducting.

Rory

Alas, alack.

Lorelai

Good talk.

Rory

The best.

Lorelai

Bye.

Lorelai

Hey we're here. With bells on. And nothing else. Except leg warmers, rollerskates, and Groucho Marx's glasses...We are near a big brick building and near an old tree.

Christopher

Tell her we're by the L-shaped building that from the top looks like a Polaroid camera.

Rory

Believe it or not, I don't know what all of Yale's buildings look like from the sky.

Lorelai

Well how ignorant of you honey. -[to Christopher] Rory says that she doesn't give two figs about Yale's architecture.

Christopher

Not two figs?

Rory

No just one and a half.

Lorelai

After trying 10 varietals, note the use of the word varietals.

Rory

Noted.

Lorelai

Believe me you tend to believe them.

Christopher

We were drunk by the end of the tour. We bought a case.

Lorelai

Here. Try a snail.

Rory

No thanks see I had a lunch of bugs and lizards I think I'm good...Well how's it taste?

Christopher

Sorta like a buttered gummy bear.

Lorelai

He's going on a man-date with Jackson.

Rory

Cute, a mandated man-date?

Lorelai

Yes, it was suggested enthusiastically.

Rory

That upside twisted slammer was living up to its name, man. I don't know if I'm more twisted or slammed.

I'm both. I think I had three of them? Or was it four?

Rory

You know, the last time I saw you drunk, you were passed out naked outside of my dorm room.

Lorelai

What about instead of La Boheme we took our inspiration from Rent? East Village. 1985. Rickety tables. Chipped glassware. [phone rings] Excuse me. Hello?

Rory

How goes the party planning?

Lorelai

What? What happened?

Rory

That good huh?

Lorelai

Is he OK?

Rory

I am not participating in this

Lorelai

Oh my God. What can I do? What do you need?

Rory

You are not using this phone call to get out of party planning hell.

Lorelai

Oh...I'll be right there.

Rory

Mom.

Emily

I can hear Rory on the other end. You are not as clever as you think you are.

Lorelai

Drat.

Rory

OK so I'll call you later? Ok?

Lorelai

The stairs are rickety, and you think you might fall down them?

Rory

Mom.

Lorelai

The pool is empty and you think you might have hit your head??

Lorelai

Mars and Venus.

Rory

Yea see I don't think that's right. See Mars and Venus are both planets. So they have something in common. It's more like Mars and a bowl of soup.

Lorelai

Venus and a bowl of soup. Venus is the woman...Sorry boys suck.

Rory

Stupid bowls of soup.

Lorelai

I didn't let any Christmas happen. I Grinched it up so hard I didn't even let it snow! Thanks to me. Our agreement. Our pledge. Our oath!

Rory

You stopped the snow?!?

Lorelai

Yes. Sheer force of will. We said no Christmas, so I had no Christmas.

Rory

You must have had a little Christmas.

Lorelai

None.

Rory

What, no presents?

Lorelai

No presents.

Rory

No tree?

Lorelai

No tree.

Rory

No egg nog?

Lorelai

No egg. No nog. I sat in the dark with the lights off and ate gruel.

Rory

So, no snow?

Lorelai

Yeah. I did an anti-snow dance. It was humiliating and arduous but I had made a promise to my daughter.

Rory

Humiliating?

Lorelai

Two words. Coconut bra.

Christopher

Ah, mistletoe.

Lorelai

Where are you going with that?

Christopher

I'm going to hang it up in the doorway.

Rory

Oh, that's not where it goes... We tape it up to one of the blades of the ceiling fan upstairs. That way the kissing is more like a sport. It's one of our traditions.