Rory Gilmore quotes from Gilmore Girls

Paris

Oh they're fruit flies. I'm finishing an important paper on Population Genetics and I have to monitor how often Drosophila melanogaster do the nasty.

Rory

Gross!

Paris

Complain to God. Not me.

Jess

You don't have to read it again.

Rory

I know I don't.

Jess

There's so many things I would change in it.

Rory

Like what?!

Jess

I'd... keep the back cover, everything else goes!

Rory

You know why I love your book?

Jess

Why?

Rory

It doesn't remind me of anything! It's not a rip off, it's just you.

Jess

High praise, Miss Yale Editor!

Jess

You look happier than when I saw you last.

Rory

I am.

Jess

So... you fixed everything?

Rory

Yeah. Everything's fixed.

Jess

... I'm glad you're here.

Rory

Yeah, me too.

Jess

What?

Rory

I'm... sorry.

Jess

About what?

Rory

Ah... about coming here like this! I just got the flyer, and I don't know, I just wanted to see your place, but then... this... It's not fair to you, I'm such a jerk!

Jess

I - I don't know what you're talking about!

Rory

I couldn't even cheat on him the way he cheated on me!

Jess

Who? Who cheated on you - that guy?! Oh... you're still with him.

Rory

Yeah.

Jess

I thought everything was 'fixed'.

Rory

Everything but him.

Jess

I hate this.

Rory

You should, I'm sorry!

Jess

You came here alone, to Philadelphia!

Rory

He was out of town.

Jess

I don't deserve this, Rory.

Rory

No, you don't! You don't deserve it! I just... I'm in love with him. Despite all the bad he's done, I can't help it, I'm in love with him.

Jess

[ironically] Love, huh?

Rory

Yeah...

Jess

I guess I'll call Matthew's poet, and have him explain love to me. Poets know all about it, right?

Rory

They're supposed to. I'm so sorry I came here.

Jess

I'm not. It's what it is, you, me. [as Rory walks away] Hey, uh... if it makes you feel better, you can always tell him that we did 'something'.

Rory

Thanks, Jess.

Rory

What was that all about?

Lane

Three complaints, two insults, and a hefty dose of religious guilt.

Rory

What are they doing now?

Lane

Oh, it's called the ritual of 108 bows.

Rory

It should be called 108 ows. Heh. My mother woulda liked that.

Lorelai

Ok we gotta make sure we got everything on the list. Rory read out the list.

Rory

Beer.

Check.

Rory

More beer.

Lorelai

Check.

Rory

Pretzels and beer.

Check.

Rory

Various chocolately treats. Alternative alcohol for those who don't like beer, and beer.

Check.

Rory

[looking at her sidekick] Dad's feet are two different sizes.

Lorelai

Oh for the love of... Hey. [holds up two purses] Which one says "Hi, I'm not a whore, enjoy your day"?

Rory

The pink one.

Lorelai

How can you possibly say she looks better with the dark hair?

Rory

She did. The blonde just seemed like she was trying to be her sister.

Lorelai

The dark hair makes it look like she's trying too hard not to look like her sister. Plus, she does not have the nose for dark hair.

Rory

What does that mean?

Lorelai

Dark hair is like a giant light-up arrow pointing to what is wrong with you. Blonde hair-- it all sort of blends in a haze of beige.

Richard

Well I told you not to serve spaghetti and meatballs. They always fight when you serve spaghetti and meatballs.

Lorelai

That's not true.

Rory

We fight just as much when we have Chinese food.

Emily

Can we please talk about something besides food?

Lorelai

What? Starvation? Scurvy? the Donner Party?

Rory

You're grounded!

Lorelai

Sorry, Mom! Kimmy saw this guy at the mall, who was a total Chachi and he bought us a Slurpee and we totally lost track of time.

Rory

I called you twice! I left messages. I called the national guard, who didn't answer because they're all in Baghdad.

Lorelai

Well, I just checked my messages.

Rory

I won't be ignored, Dan!

Rory

Well, you know, I guess we don't have to talk about...stuff. Yeah..

Lorelai

Who say we always have to be talking? We can not talk!

Rory

Course We can.

Lorelai

Okay, we should probably talk about how we're not gonna talk cuz I don't think we should just go right into it.

Lorelai

This pile is Luke's stuff. This pile is stuff that reminds me of Luke.

Rory

What's that pile?

Lorelai

That's Babette's intimates.

Rory

Oh. Of course.

Lorelai

I mean, how would I pass the time until my one and only offspring, the fruit of my loins…

Rory

Too early.

Lorelai

… loin-fruit that she is, straggled out of bed to grace me with her presence? But then I asked myself, "WWTBFCD?", and it came to me in a flash: I'm gonna make waffles!

Rory

"What would the Barefoot Contessa do?".

Lorelai

Exactly.

Rory

Barefoot's one word.

Lorelai

Shut up, loin-fruit.

Rory

I see you feng-shui'ed the furniture.

Lorelai

It was so un-feng-shui'ed before, it was ridiculous! Here — to document our journey.

Rory

Xie-xie!

Lorelai

Oh! God bless you.

Rory

That's "thank you" in Mandarin.

Rory

Lane? Are you okay? Did the doctor say you have a parasite?

Lane

In a manner of speaking. [sighs] I'm pregnant.

Rory

You only did it one time, and — wow! — a baby!

Lane

That's what ya get, folks, for makin' whoopee!

Rory

And, already, you are way ahead of a lot of people as far as parenting skills go. Like, Britney? Britney Spears does not know which end of a baby goes up. And Courtney Love? She's no June Cleaver.

Lane

Yeah. I bet I could be a better mother than Courtney Love.

Rory

My sock drawer could be a better mother than Courtney Love. But, yes! Of course you would be. And, Michael Jackson? You know not to name a child "Blanket".

Lane

I do know that. Do not name your baby after an inanimate object.

Lane

I wonder if Blanket ever met Tom and Katie's baby, Pillow?

Rory

Yea that would be a perfect playmate.

Lane

When it's naptime they'd be totally set.

Rory

And then they could invite Gwyneth's Apple over for a little snack.

Lane

Banjo, Rachel Griffiths' baby could play for them

Rory

And then they could all jump into Mia Farrow's Satchel and make fun of...what's his face.

Lane

Oh Pilot Inspektor Lee!