[Rory, Lorelai and Gigi are making popcorn-and-cranberry strands for their Christmas tree. Rory and Lorelai are talking about the letter Luke has asked Lorelai to write]
RoryOK, so what guidelines did he give you?
None. None, no guidelines whatsoever. I'm supposed to write a character reference, so I thought I'd reference his character.
Rory
Sounds like you're on the right track.
No, I'm not, because it turns out I can't write.
Rory
Oh, sure you can.
No, I can't. I stare at the blank page and I just keep staring and staring and eventually I have to get up and lubricate my eyeballs, otherwise they'll fall out of my head like raisins. [Gigi giggles]
Rory
Well, are you using a pen? You can't just stare at the paper, you have to have a writing implement of some kind.
[holds up her strand] Look!
Rory
Hey, what a good job.
You know what I really like? Your cranberry-to-popcorn ratio -- Rory's more of a one-to-one kind of gal, but I'm like you, I like a lot of cranberry, a little popcorn thrown in for flair. [aside to Rory] Yours is pretty too.
Rory
Thank you.
I have a writing implement. The problem is that everything I write just sounds so schmucky.
Rory
I'm sure that's not true...we're running low on cranberries.
[mocking herself] "Luke Danes is a highly regarded member of this community." Ugh! "Not an ill word can be spoken of Mr. Danes." It's like I'm some documentary narrator from the History Channel. And you know what phrase I keep using?! "Stand-up." "Luke Danes is a stand-up guy. He's an upstanding member of Stars Hollow. A real stand-up citizen." People are gonna think he's turned into a comedian.
Rory
Sounds like you're overthinking this. Maybe if you just put pen to paper --
I tried that. I thought, I'll just sit down and write whatever comes. No judgment, no inner critic -- boy, was that a bad idea.
Rory
Really? Why?
Because my brain is a wild jungle full of scary gibberish. "I'm writing a letter. I can't write a letter. Why can't I write a letter? I'm wearing a green dress. I wish I was wearing my blue dress. My blue dress is at the cleaners'. 'The Germans wore gray, you wore blue.' Casablanca. Casablanca's such a good movie. Casablanca. The White House. Bush. Why don't I drive a hybrid car? I should really drive a hybrid car. I should really take my bicycle to work. Bicycle, unicycle, unitard, hockey puck, rattlesnake monkey monkey underpants." [Gigi giggles]
Rory
"Hockey puck rattlesnake monkey monkey underpants"?
Exactly! That's what I'm saying. It's a big bag of weird in there. So I think, well, I need inspiration. I need a muse. Perhaps I need The Muse. Maybe it would help if Sharon Stone would appear to me in an alarming kaftan and coo inspirational words in my ear.
Rory
So I told Paris, I don't care if it would theoretically increase my chances of getting a grant to go study in Russia, I'm not willing to pretend to be an accomplished rhythmic gymnast.
How do you pretend to be a rhythmic gymnast anyway?
Rory
I don't even know. I mean, you whirl around some ribbons, balance a ball on your nose?
Just so you know, that young guy who's been visiting Mrs. Santiago in 236, not her son, he's her boyfriend!
Rory
No!
But he's at least 20 years younger than she is.
32 according to the night nurse.
What could they possibly have to talk about?
I don't think they're doing a lot of talking if you know what I mean..
LLorelei
There's no such thing as a non-alcoholic cocktail.
There most certainly is, it's called a mock-tail. I can offer you a Shirley Temple or a Roy Rogers.
Or how about a Howdy Doody or a Captain Kangaroo... [takes a sip of the mock-tail] Oh, that's a strong one Mom, you know I'm driving.
Rory
Tastes great.
You know what else tastes great? Rum.
Rory
Yes but Mr. Nash, you are forgetting about the first pancake phenomenon.
Rory
Yes the first pancake you know? You always throw it out...
Why do you throw out the first pancake?
Rory
Cause the griddles too hot it gets burned.
Oh my God. Next year no excuses. We are making you that audition tape for Top Chef.
Rory
Well, I need for it to say more than that. I'm hoping to hear from the San Francisco Chronicle, the Seattle Times, the Detroit Free Press
Well, you can't ask one suit to say so much. You know, why don't you just get the suit that says something local? 'Cause you know those other cities are so far away, so expensive, so tiring. Plus you know you can get a great cup of coffee in New York. I don't know about those other cities. They have crappy crappy coffee.
Rory
Mmm hmm. Like Seattle?
I thought you weren't supposed to see the bride in her gown before you got married.
Rory
Yeah, and if the bride sees a lizard crossing the road that's bad luck too.
MMia
Oh well, haven't seen a lizard, but too late on the dress because he zipped me up.
Oh no, where's the zip-up on the bad-luck o'meter?
Rory
I'm not sure but we better throw some salt over your shoulders just in case.
I'm not sure if I have salt but I may have some Splenda.
No, I just wanted to walk you to your room, seeing that this isn't the safest neighborhood.
Mom. Now I feel like I should walk you back to the car. And then you're gonna feel like you should walk me back. And we're going to be stuck in a terrible loop and neither of us has the shoes for that.
Rory
Oh Grandma, you should stay. We're going to get junk food from the vending machine. Watch a movie. C'mon, don't you like Dots?
Seriously Rory, I can't stay.
Rory
Too late, I'm already getting you a Little Debbie.
Rory
[in line to graduate] Okay. This is it.
Yeah. We've been drafting off each other since high school, and now it's each woman for herself. Who knows when we'll see each other again, right?
Rory
Paris, I haven't been able to shake you off all this time. I'm sure we're going to be friends for a very long time.
You're going to do such great things with your life, Rory. (gives her a huge hug)
Rory
Logan...I'm sorry. I can't. I love you. You know how much I love you. I love the idea of being married to you. But...there are just a lot of things in my life right now that are undecided, which used to scare me, but now I kind of like that it's all wide open. And if I married you, it just wouldn't be.
So, what? I move to San Francisco, you stay back east, and we see each other occasionally?
Rory
Well, we can try long distance. We've done it before.
You really think that would work?
Rory
I think it would be hard, but--
I don't want to do that, Rory. I don't want to move backwards. If we can't take the next step...
Rory
What?
Rory
Does it have to be all or nothing?
Rory
We could try.
Rory
So...
[Rory pauses, reaches into her pocket, and holds out the box with the ring in it; after a long silence, Logan takes it]
Gilmore Girls · 747 quotes
