I didn't let any Christmas happen. I Grinched it up so hard I didn't even let it snow! Thanks to me. Our agreement. Our pledge. Our oath!
You stopped the snow?!?
Yes. Sheer force of will. We said no Christmas, so I had no Christmas.
You must have had a little Christmas.
None.
What, no presents?
No presents.
No tree?
No tree.
No egg nog?
No egg. No nog. I sat in the dark with the lights off and ate gruel.
So, no snow?
Yeah. I did an anti-snow dance. It was humiliating and arduous but I had made a promise to my daughter.
Humiliating?
Two words. Coconut bra.
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