Futurama · Season 7
[Nixon is editing a GI Zapp cartoon]
Die! Die! [uses a fire-log holder to choke an ACRONYM soldier]
[editing] Just measuring you for a new hat. [a GI Zapp repetitively stabs a soldier] Three, four, cha-cha-cha. [Hermes is drowning a soldier] Find that apple. It's down there somewhere...[eventually the violence goes on and on. Nixon watches in disgust as explosions occur, gunfire is heard, screaming and fire shows up on the TV] Eeew...that's it! I'm pulling the plug! [Pulls plug off editer]
No! We like you and your big words, and we need you back on TV, so we can watch and not talk to each other. Our friendship depends on it!
[screaming] Your voice is so annoying!
[screaming] You always leave the toilet seat crushed!
[Fry and Bender are having a competition with the Robot Devil for Calculon's soul; with the Devil purposely trying to lose in order to get rid of the annoying Calculon]
For Calculon's immortal soul, guess the number I'm thinking of.
Uhhhhhm...
It's between one and three!
Four!
No...between one and three, not including one or three.
"M"!
Is he right?
[sarcastically] Yes, the number I was thinking of was the letter "M".
Now, that's more like it. Always living wanting more. - That's the secret.
Arrgh!!!
So, what do you say, R.D.? Shall I dazzle the damned with a command performance of my one-man show?
[screaming in despair] OH GOD!!!! HAVEN'T THEY SUFFERED ENOUGH!!!!????? [points to suffering robots in fire]
Uhm, Leela, remember when we were trying to guess what would happen if someone stuck a gun in my face and you said I'd probably crap my pants? Well...
[Bender is sat looking miserable at the table in the Planet Express employee lounge, whilst Fry, Leela, Amy, Hermes and Zoidberg are sat watching the TV.]
Bender, come join us, we're watching Rear Window!
I used to stick my rear out the window...
If you prefer, we could watch Behind the Music.
My behind used to make music...
Backdraft is on.
Even my ass wouldn't watch that.
We are the Cruds, but we're over here. And don't shoot. That crate is a gift from us.
What?!
Huh?!
For real?!
There's been enough violence on these streets, too many lives and mirrors have been shattered, so yo, we sent you a crate o' weapons as a sign o' trust. Together, we can use them to rid our streets of the real enemy: giant spiders!
I knew it!
Isn't it bad enough that I occasionally lay an egg? Now I have to become a squid too?!!
[Bender finds Finn and Jake from Adventure Time chained up on a wall]
What time is it?
Time for you to shut up!
I did it! I got a great deal on the ship!
Hooray! I knew you wouldn't let us down in any way.
Well, how much did you get?
Two! Two magic beans!
[Everyone yells in anger]
Ooh! You sack of bags of buckets of idiots! There's no such thing as magic beans!
Oh. "Fry, you big dummy"?
Very much so.
Momsanto?
Yes, you've discovered my floating genetic engineering facility. Our experiments would be illegal on Earth, but up here, I'm above the law.
[laughs] Nice pun, Mother.
It's not a pun, it's a play on words! [slaps Larry]
Fine. Can I go now?
The only place you're going is nowhere. You've got some freaky DNA, and I want to see what's in your genes.
[Igner snickers]
Genes with a "G"! [slaps Igner]
[upon seeing the flying castle]
Whoa! Remember that mural on my cousin's van? It's like it came to life!
I keep telling you, we didn't grow up together.
[Fry and Bender are climbing the tower to rescue Leela. Adam West and Burt Ward appear from one of the windows]
Holy Rapunzel, man-bat! There's a duo here to rescue us!
How dynamic are they?
Not very.
Go about your business, citizens.
Well, back to being the subject of gruesome genetic experiments, old chum.
But what are those aliens tryin' to ask us? What do the tones mean?
Isn't it obvious?
Uh... No.
Drat! I was hoping it was.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
