Futurama · Season 3
I’m calling to negotiate a double date. You and me, Kif and Amy.
Forget it.
Then let the negotiations begin! I propose we go out on ten dates.
How about zero?
Nine.
Zero.
Seven.
Zero.
Eight.
Please, Leela? Kif’s like the sweetest guy who’s ever liked me.
Five, and that’s my final offer. Four!
One.
Two.
One half.
I’ll take it. We’ll meet you tonight for part of dinner and the first half of a movie.
Well, well, well. This looks to be one disturbingly erotic date.
Half-date.
Waiter, bring us a bottle of wine.
Half-bottle.
And some oysters on the half-shell.
Quarter-shell.
She's built like a steak house, but she handles like a Bistro.
The number you have dialed has crashed into a planet. Please make a note of it.
Where are all the men in your society?
Men die out many year ago.
With all these women around, they were probably nagged to death. Are you with me, fellas? [He, Fry and Zapp laugh]
We have to go save them.
Nah, why bother?
Bender, think of the señoritas!
[A chord of Latin music plays]
Vámonos!
[After the men have been sentenced to death by snu-snu.]
Goodbye, friends. I never thought I'd die like this. But I always really hoped.
You win again, gravity!
We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.
Bender, maybe you can interface with the Femputer and reprogram it to let them go?
Maybe you can interface with my ass...by biting it!
What planet is this, anyway?
[shrugs] This whole sector is uncharted.
It is not uncharted. You lost the chart.
Stands back. I’m gonna puts my moves on her. [He hoots at Leela by saying "Wooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaahs" and twisting/moving his hips to the left and right.]
That jerk. No one hoots at my captain unless they’re prepared to take it to the next level.
Fry, please. That’s sweet, but I'd rather not even dignify them with an ass-whupping.
Yo, sexy mama! Let’s get busy and freaky, in that order.
Hey, jumbo! How would you like it if Leela said you were sexy and she wanted to make love with you?
Eh, I’ve gots five minutes. She looks pretty good for a truck-stop chick.
You take that back! She does not look good for a truck-stop chick.
[The truck stop men laugh, Leela starts getting angry.]
Yeah, you’re right. She don’t gots enough meat for a guy like me.
She does too! She’s loaded with meat! She’s got more meat than a cow!
[The truck stop men laugh even harder.]
Anyhoo, your net-suits will allow you to experience Fry's worm infested bowels as if you were actually wriggling through them.
There's no part of that sentence I didn't like!
[whispers] Be very quiet. We're in the ear.
[whispers] Okay, professor.
WHAT?!
[to Leela] What about "what"?
Uh...What about we go for a walk because it's a lovely day, perhaps?
Oh, okay.
If we can stimulate that nerve, the bowel will convulse, expelling the entire worm colony!
But what about the worms in the other part of his body?
Listen, this is gonna be one Hell of a bowel movement. Afterward, he'll be lucky if he has any bones left.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
