Mom quotes from Futurama

Mom

Now I'm off to some charity BS for knocked-up teenage sluts.

Mom

[watching Fry moon her] You call that a pressed ham? Walt, hit the retaliate button!

Mom

Press any button! They all retaliate!

Mom

This is a smart home assistant: always listening, always watching. But also respecting your privacy. Because privacy comes first. We call it Invasa.

Mom

All of the robots work twenty-four hours a day. Seven days a week. With bonuses for overtime!

Mom

Toodle-oo! [Under her breath.] Dumbass...

Fry

What a nice lady.

Mom

You broke my heart, Hubert.

Prof. Farnsworth

And you broke mine. Granted, that was four or five hearts ago.

Mom

Jerkwad robots make me sick to my ass! - Walt! How are we disposing of those crap gifts they brought me?

They're being crushed into powder and sold as a hocus-pocus cure for cancer.

Mom

False hope! I love it!

Mom

Darling Hubie, I should never have tried to tamper with that cute little Q.T. McWhiskers.

Prof. Farnsworth

No, it was silly of me to object; one-foot tall, eight-feet, 15-feet, what does it matter?

Mom

You should see the new 16-foot models.

Prof. Farnsworth

16 feet?! Go to hell!

Everyone's fired and we're out of business! [the Planet Express crew protest] I'm going to sell Planet Express to Mom, so she can gut the company and eliminate us as competitors!

Mom

Don't let the door hit you on the way out, 'cause I don't want ass prints on my new door!

Mom

Farnsworth? What a lucky break, after all these years I've got him, and legally too.

Larry

Even an idiot like me knows he'll be ruined.

Mom

An idiot like you is correct! [slaps him]

Leela

Momsanto?

Mom

Yes, you've discovered my floating genetic engineering facility. Our experiments would be illegal on Earth, but up here, I'm above the law.

Larry

[laughs] Nice pun, Mother.

Mom

It's not a pun, it's a play on words! [slaps Larry]

Leela

Fine. Can I go now?

Mom

The only place you're going is nowhere. You've got some freaky DNA, and I want to see what's in your genes.

Mom

Genes with a "G"! [slaps Igner]

Bender

Wow, robots. Cool!

Mom

Yes. They're much better than unions. I-I mean humans.

Mom

Daily business report. Go!

According to the Department of Commerce, we've driven 10,000 small companies out of business. And the Department of Commerce also went out of business.

Larry

Um, we introduced the Momazon Primo service, where people pay a fortune for free shipping, and also get TV shows for some reason.

We make TV shows across the quality spectrum.