HJProfessor Hubert J. Farnsworth
Fry, don't be the idiot you are. Before you go jabbing into your visual cortex, I implore you to…
[Pan to Fry, who already has the googles being drilled into his brain]
Ow! My cortex!
S8 E1The Impossible Stream
H5Humorobot 5.0
What is the deal with non-binary robots? [The audience of personal computers doesn't appreciate the joke] Wow, PC crowd.
[Fry has pledged to watch every season of every TV show ever made]
Without Fry’s interruptions, efficiency is up thirty-two perc— Mmm!
[Hermes draws the line going down as Fry enters the room]
Well, my butt's numb and my remote hand is dead, but all I have left is the final season of All My Circuits.
Which final season? They've been cancelled, like, three or four times.
Pfft, Loserama.
The final final season, from 10 years ago. I wonder how many episodes were in it?
Hmm, twelve… No. Thirteen thousand and twenty.
[gasps] Thirteen thousand and twenty? I’ll never make it! I’m sorry, Leela. I’ll never be able to watch enough TV to make you proud of me. [sobs]
[sighs] It might actually be possible. But… no.
What? What is it?
It’s risky, but we have a technology now that allows you to watch all the episodes in one continuous stretch. We call it… bingeing.
If you don't crank out new episodes quickly, Fry will be dead by lunch!... I'm having ham salad.
But this is impossible. To keep him from running out, we'll need to produce an hour-long episode every hour. Nonstop. Forever!
If Law & Order can do it, so can you.
I'm the spokesman for fast acting.
You're the spokesman for fast-acting hemorrhoid cream.
Your point?
I have none.
It's those damned lazy writers! They can't even manage to write an hour-long episode every 15 minutes.
SWScript writer
I died doing what I hated. [dies]
Can't you just ad lib?
Asking an actor to ad lib is like asking a... guy... to... five.
RNRichard Nixon's head
Arooooooo! Now, Mr. Fry, I understand that you recently endured a terrible ordeal involving doing something stupid with streaming television.
That's right, your majesty.
RNRichard Nixon's head
And what lesson, if any, did you learn?
Well, first, I guess, don't reboot a show if the quality isn't going to be there. But more importantly, let me say this: viewers must binge responsibly - the same way they smoke cigarettes, or drink bleach. In my opinion, they must stream no more than 10 episodes in a row... and no less. But it's not just the viewer's responsibility. Any TV show that truly cares about its audience, that loves and respects them, should - no, must - be cancelled every few years. It's simply the right thing to do.
S8 E2Children of a Lesser Bog
[while watching Kif's birthing video] Life is disgusting.
[to Kif] Having a family with you is the only I want in the whole world.
Then, can I have your car?
No!
Too late, already crashed it.
Luckily, there's an educational movie that explains how Kif's species reproduces... and it's filthy!
GMGrand Midwife
The children inherited genes only from Kif and Leela. Plus, trace DNA from a certain, "Scruffy".
Scruffy's stuff gets around.
I refuse to die grovelling. But I'm open to sniveling.
S8 E3How the West Was 1010001
You know, 'round these parts, folks don't think things, they reckon them. And, instead of an idiot, I'll be known as a galoot.
RPRobot Pianist
Delilah runs a house of ill repute in the back.
"Ill"? You mean, a hospital?
RPRobot Pianist
I mean a cathouse.
A pet store?
RPRobot Pianist
A brothel.
A soup kitchen?
RPRobot Pianist
[sighs] Yeah, a soup kitchen.
Assay my shiny metal ass!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.