Professor Hubert Farnsworth quotes from Futurama

The seven basic principles that go to make up Kwanzaa!

LaBarbara

Kujichagulia...

And umoja...

Hermes

And the rest.

Now we get it!

Sit back down! There's gonna be a test.

Cooperative economics.

[to Dwight] Yo, boondocks, I'm talkin' here! Put away the comics!

Like the ever-changing nature of my sexual proclivities. [starts coming on to Zoidberg]

I think there's one called "nia," but I don't speak Swahili,

Prof. Farnsworth

That's from Xmas and Robanukah, you plagiarizing lout!

Yeah, I'm kinda losin' interest here. I'd best be rollin' out.

What's that, Black Santa?

You need seven Kwanzaa candles that you light up every night.

[writing on notepads] They must be made of beeswax or we might as well be white.

Leela

Well, it was a lot of hard work, but it beats posing in skimpy, demeaning outfits.

Prof. Farnsworth

Here are your skimpy, demeaning stewardress uniforms.

Prof. Farnsworth

Oh, God. We've opened Pandora's fly. They'll reproduce without limit, consuming all the matter in the world!

Fry

Like the Kardashians!

Prof. Farnsworth

Bad news, everyone! Look at this infinite series representing the mass of successive generations of Benders.

Fry

Don't wait for me.

Prof. Farnsworth

It's nonconvergent!

Fry

[alarmed] Oh, dip!

Hermes

Zoidberg was popular?!

Amy

Zoidberg had hair?!

Prof. Farnsworth

I never said he had hair! If you imagined it that way, that's your business!

Farnsworth

You're not my breakfast friends! What are you doing here?!

Amy

Leela's blackmailing us into eating healthy, organic food.

Farnsworth

Blackmail? What does she have on you?

Hermes

As long as we eat her filthy scrambled eggs, you'll never find out.

Zoidberg

Is this one o' those "No means yes" deals?!

Prof. Farnsworth

Yes and no.

Bender

I'd be remiss if I didn't rub your goopy noses in the fact that I'm immune. [starts laughing]

Farnsworth

Which is why we'll all be counting on you, and you alone, to nurse us through this catastrophe.

Bender

Why, God? Why have I been singled out?!

Fry

Everyone just calm down and make yourself a tissue walrus.

Oh God! I clicked without reading.

Cubert Farnsworth

And I slightly modified a thing that I own.

We're monsters!

Prof. Farnsworth

Oh my, there's a frog on a bump on this log that I found in a hole at the bottom of the sea.

Leela

And that's the ultimate secret of the universe?

Prof. Farnsworth

Apparently so. Wait! There's a snail on the tail of the frog on the bump on this log that I found in a hole on the bottom of the sea. The snail itself is composed of cells, molecules, atoms...

Fry

Pfff! Those things don't rhyme!

Prof. Farnsworth

Things only rhyme below ten to the minus five angstroms, you dope!

Leela

What is that box, you old witch?

Prof. Farnsworth

Ha ha ha ha! I'll never tell you! It's a deep space emotion detector.

Prof. Farnsworth

The detector detects that you are impressed.

Farnsworth

All attempts to communicate with the aliens have failed. I fear our only option is thrilling space battle.

Power Friends Go!

Prof. Farnsworth

Of course! Having no mouths or ears they can only communicate through motions!

Fry

Or perhaps by odors.

Bender

That is how you communicate.

Hahahahahahaha!

Prof. Farnsworth

Zoidberg, you are the greatest hero. You saved us all.

Zoidberg

For now. But another threat from the stars is sure to arise [mouth stops moving] next week at the same time!

Hermes

That's it, Fry! For a guy who's not too bright, you're too damn bright!

Farnsworth

Now get out!!! And don't come back until someone finds a use for a million watt idiot!!

Mom, will I ever get to see Dad again?

No, he died yesterday. Rust monsters ate his face. Sweet dreams.

Bender

[whispering] Psst, quit whimpering or ya don't get kidnapped!

Dad!