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5 QUOTES

A character in Futurama

Planet Express crew quotes from Futurama

5 quotes

Planet Express crew

Futurama · 1,210 quotes

In 5 of the 1,210 quotes from Futurama
Most scenes with: Bender (2), Turanga Leela (2), Hermes Conrad (2)

Scenes with Planet Express crew 5

PDPorno-dealing Lizard

I videotape every customer that comes in here, so that I may blackmail them later.

PEPlanet Express crew

Eew!

PDPorno-dealing Lizard

Hey, I'm a porno-dealing monster. What do I care what you think?

Can someone please explain how you celebrate this crazy holiday? Preferably in song?

[singing] It's the violentest season of the year.

EElf

Old Kringle-bot has come to spread some mugs of Xmas fear.

Sugar-plummy visions will be dancing in your head

When I cane you from the comfort of my sled.

On Xmas Eve, we don our gay apparel,

Kevlar vests, asbestos stockings and a barrel.

Prof. Farnsworth': And if Grandma's Xmas fruitcake finally reaches critical mass,

It can be re-gifted straight to Santa's ass.

But the ornamental armaments are merely superficial,

The tinsel and the trappings are just icing on the missile.

The one thing that you need to make your Xmas day splendiferous

Is a pine tree; a pine tree that's coniferous.

PEPlanet Express crew

We have to have a pine tree as coniferous.

[flies away] You're welcome.

I've placed instruments under your seats. Play 'em or I'll break 'em over your heads!

[Fry gets out a holophonor; the Professor, a fiddle; and Dr. Zoidberg, an accordion, and start playing klezmer music.]

Bender': [singing] Robanukah may sound as if it's Jewish,

But its ancient sounding customs are exceptionally newish.

So take a hearty swallow from your robo-kiddish cup,

Which will give me time to quickly make them up.

Do you spin a dreidel made from clay?

Bender': Mine is called a droidel and it's rigged to make you pay.

Do you eat these yummy tin-wrapped chocolate coins?

Bender': Better!

We got fembots with illegal five-speed groins!

Shalom, Ruth and Esther!

RRuth

Why with the music so loud?

EEsther

Would it kill him to turn up the heat a little in here?

Bender': But by far the most important thing is oil.

To keep the lamp light burning or to help the latkes broil?

Bender': No, we pour the holy lubricant out from the sacred vessel

Into this blessed pit so they can wrestle.

PEPlanet Express crew

The extra made-up touch that makes Robanukah so special

Is the oil in which the nasty fembots wrestle.

[Hermes and LaBarbara provide backup on kalimba and drum respectively.]

KBKwanzaa-bot

The seven basic principles that go to make up Kwanzaa!

So sit yo' asses down and have some knowledge dropped upons ya!

Kujichagulia...

BSBarbados Slim and Bubblegum Tate

And umoja...

And the rest.

PEPlanet Express crew

Now we get it!

KBKwanzaa-bot

Sit back down! There's gonna be a test.

My favorite's ujamaa.

BTBubblegum Tate

Cooperative economics.

KBKwanzaa-bot

[to Dwight] Yo, boondocks, I'm talkin' here! Put away the comics!

Ku'umba is another one, it stands for creativity.

BSBarbados Slim

Like the ever-changing nature of my sexual proclivities. [starts coming on to Zoidberg]

KBKwanzaa-bot

I think there's one called "nia," but I don't speak Swahili,

Sumthin' 'bout a pine tree and a oil-wrestlin' dealy?

That's from Xmas and Robanukah, you plagiarizing lout!

KBKwanzaa-bot

Yeah, I'm kinda losin' interest here. I'd best be rollin' out.

But before I go, the most important thing...

What's that, Black Santa?

KBKwanzaa-bot

You need seven Kwanzaa candles that you light up every night.

But they best be made of beeswax or y'all might as well be white.

PEPlanet Express crew

[writing on notepads] They must be made of beeswax or we might as well be white.

These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.