Turanga Leela quotes from Futurama

Fry

Let's bring back a few pocketfuls.

Bender

Better yet, let's take a whole Benderful.

Leela

No, take only what's necessary. Stuff the ship.

The point is, you shouldn't eat things that feel pain.

Ow!

Bender

Okay, we won't eat you.

Leela

I'll go get some more bricks.

Zapp Brannigan

I realize this may hurt our chances of consummating our relationship again.

Leela

Go consummate yourself.

Professor Farnsworth

Ohhh, you've killed me! You've killed me!

Leela

Oh God, what have I done?

Professor Farnsworth

I just told you! You've killed me!

Leela

Ok, just try to be nonchalant.

Zoidberg

Alright, so you're nonchalant. Quit rubbing our noses in it.

Bender

There's nothing wrong with murder, so long as you let Bender wet his beak.

Leela

You're blackmailing me?

Bender

Blackmail is such an ugly word; I prefer "extortion". The "X" makes it sound cool.

Leela

Do you have any gun?

Amy

No… AHHHHHHHHHH!

Leela

Who are you?

Scruffy

Scruffy, the janitor.

Leela

I've never seen you before.

Scruffy

And I've never seen you before neither.

Zoidberg

Quiet, please.

Leela

You know, Zapp, someone ought to teach you a lesson.

Zapp Brannigan

If it's a lesson in love, watch out. I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What did I call it, Kif?

Kif

Ugh... sexlexia.

Zapp Brannigan

Oh, god, I've never been so happy to be beaten up by a woman.

Leela

Let's do it again sometime.

Hermes

We think it's better if you don't know.

Bender

Oh, come on, I'm not gonna say it. Please? Oh, is it "please"?

Fry

Nope.

Bender

Hmm...words I never say...oh, I know: "Thanks"!

Leela

Bender, stop trying to destroy the world!

Bender

Is it "sorry"? No. "Funder-ful". Umm... "non-alcoholic"? "Compassion"? "Shrimp toast"? "Antiquing?" [lightning flashes, cuts to end credits] I'm alright!

Leela

There, no rampaging for you tonight.

Bender

Wouldn't it make sense to weld everyone except me to the wall?

Leela

Just relax, Bender. Tomorrow we'll pry you down, have a nice breakfast, and then go hunt down and slaughter that ancient evil.

Fry

It'll be a rich, full day.

Fry

I can’t believe this. Bender’s supposed to murder his closest friend, which I thought was me. But he went straight for you. He didn’t even try to second degree murder me.

Leela

Could you give me some help? I think Bender crushed my foot.

Fry

Stop rubbing it in!

Leela

We don't need to beg Bender, for God's sake we're not veterans.

Fry

Then what do you suggest? A daring daylight robbery of Fort Knox on elephant back? That's the dumbest thing I ever heard.

Fry

So you're saying these aren't the decaying ruins of New York in the year 4000?

Farnsworth

You wish! You're in Los-Angeles!

Fry

But there was this gang of 10-year-olds with guns.

Leela

Exactly, you're in L.A.

Fry

But everyone is driving around in cars shooting at each other.

Bender

That's L.A. for you.

Fry

But the air is green and there's no sign of civilisation whatsoever.

Bender

He just won't stop with the social commentary.

Fry

And the people are all phoneys. No one reads. Everything has cilantro on it.

Zapp Brannigan

I’m calling to negotiate a double date. You and me, Kif and Amy.

Leela

Forget it.

Zapp Brannigan

Then let the negotiations begin! I propose we go out on ten dates.

Leela

How about zero?

Zapp Brannigan

Nine.

Leela

Zero.

Zapp Brannigan

Seven.

Leela

Zero.

Zapp Brannigan

Eight.

Amy

Please, Leela? Kif’s like the sweetest guy who’s ever liked me.

Zapp Brannigan

Five, and that’s my final offer. Four!

Leela

One.

Zapp Brannigan

Two.

Leela

One half.

Zapp Brannigan

I’ll take it. We’ll meet you tonight for part of dinner and the first half of a movie.