This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me!
“War Is the H-Word” · Season 2
In this episode: Zapp Brannigan (5), Philip J. Fry (4), Bender (3), Turanga Leela (3), Kif Kroker (2), Hermes Conrad (1)
HKHenry Kissinger's Head
Please, gentlemen, we must put an end to the bloodshed. We have all seen too many body bags and ball sacks.
You know, Zapp, someone ought to teach you a lesson.
If it's a lesson in love, watch out. I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What did I call it, Kif?
Ugh... sexlexia.
Dammit, Kif! Where's the little umbrella? That's what makes it as scotch on the rocks.
SSoldier
This is the worst part. The calm before the battle.
And then the battle's not so bad?
SSoldier
Oh right. I forgot about the battle. [whimpers]
[To Bender] Wait, If you say the A-word, this planet will blow straight up to the H-word.
RNRichard Nixon's Head
Accompaning you will be our top peace negotiator, Henry Kissinger.
HKHenry Kissinger's Head
How are you?
Is he any good?
RNRichard Nixon's Head
Looking like that, he talked his way into Jill St. John's bed. Enough said.
That young man fills me with hope. Plus some other emotions which are weird and deeply confusing.
I'm de-promoting you, soldier. Kif, what's the most humiliating job there is?
Being your assistant.
Wrong. Being your assistant.
Oh, god, I've never been so happy to be beaten up by a woman.
Let's do it again sometime.
[On a bouncing ball.] At last, war has made me into a man... Wee!
[last lines]
We think it's better if you don't know.
Oh, come on, I'm not gonna say it. Please? Oh, is it "please"?
Nope.
Hmm...words I never say...oh, I know: "Thanks"!
Bender, stop trying to destroy the world!
Is it "sorry"? No. "Funder-ful". Umm... "non-alcoholic"? "Compassion"? "Shrimp toast"? "Antiquing?" [lightning flashes, cuts to end credits] I'm alright!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.